True Confessions Time

I hate feet.
Especially toes.
They look like little fingers.
They gross me out.
It's been a lifelong issue.

It may have started back when I was little
And one of my siblings,
Maybe it was two,
Had those little weird pinkie toenails
And it always freaked me out.

Then I went through a phase,
(Well, is it a phase when it lasts for 20+years?)
Where I didn't wear flip-flops.
It started because when I was about 7 or 8
Some little preschool punk in my mom's summer class
Peed on me.
Well, peed all over my foot I should say.
I blamed it on the kid - of course -
But also on those stupid flip-flops that left my foot exposed and vulnerable.
(I've hated the name Chad ever since.)

Then there were my aunts,
And grandmas,
With those hammer toes.
Heaven help me that gives me the creeps
And I pray to God it NEVER happens to my feet.
(I actually went to a foot doctor when I was about 25 because I thought I was developing them.
They looked at me like I was crazy.)

And of course,
There is the smell.
It's not a judgement.
It's just that the smell is bound to come.
It happens to all of us.
And it grosses me out.
Praise God I leave in an era of foot deodorizer and room freshening spray.

Anyway.
Like I said,
I've never liked feet
Or toes.

(Yes, I find them extremely useful and I am grateful for mine and la, la, la, la.)

So....
I moved out to Arizona.
Flip flops are a way of life out here.
I've embraced them.
I love them now.
I wear them whenever I can.
(I just never look at other people's feet in them if I can help it.)

Then I got my first pedicure...
Yes, my first,
About three years ago.
Instantly, I was hooked.
(Granted, I DON'T KNOW HOW they do that job all day
But I will gladly pay them and tip them well.)

Besides my own feet,
And toes,
The only other toes I will touch are babies.
I have actually painted my nieces toe nails....once.
But I figure that I used to basically pretend to eat those at one point in my life
So, I thought I could handle that.
But I found out I was no better at painting her toes then mine
And now I just treat her to a pedicure once or twice a year.

Now I am a foster mom.
I have an eight year old daughter.
She has feet.
She has toes.
She has toenails.
That grow.
Fast.
And it grosses me out.
Seriously.

When Miss M first came to me in July,
I quickly noticed the shape of her toenails
The length of her toenails
And cringed.
Seriously - cringed.
That was MY responsibility now.
Oy.

Changing sheet in the case of an accident - considered that.
Helping a child clean up during puking - considered that.
Trimming a child's toenails - never thought of that.
Oy vey.

So...
We went to the nail salon.
In honor of the first day of school arriving, of course.
We got pedicures.
That was at the beginning of August.
Her purple toes were adorable.
We spent a little "fun" money that my mom had sent.
I didn't feel guilty.

Now comes September.
Her toes scrapped against me one night earlier this week
(I shuddered, I admit it.)
Crap.
I've got to cut those.
I
I
I
Have to cut those.
Gulp.

I didn't do anything about it all week.
I kept talking myself into doing it this weekend.
It's just toes.
It's just my foster daughter's toes.

I was going to treat myself to a pedicure during her mom visit today.
I didn't.
I claimed I ran out of time.
Not true.
It was my excuse of having to take her with me.

Yup.
I didn't do it.
I couldn't do it.
I chickened out.
(The girl who kills scorpions, crickets, rides roller coasters, travels the world -
That same girl,
Won't trim an 8 year old's toenails.

I paid the nail salon lady to do it.
Not a full pedicure this time.
(No play money.)
Just a trim and a color change.
They charged me $8 and gave her a free flower.
She was happy.
I AM ECSTATIC!!!!

Yes, I am feeling guilty -
What a silly waste of $8,
I know.
But - on the other hand
IT'S DONE and I DIDN'T HAVE TO DO IT!

Now, come to think of it...you know what?
IT IS TOTALLY WORTH IT!
It's getting added to the monthly budget.
So there.

Best $8 dollars ever!

 Praise Reports:
--I was able to catch up with a dear friend over Chipotle lunch today and we ate outside because it was actually not 100+ degrees!  Love you, Missy.
--Miss M and I were joined by a dear friend for our weekly Saturday night dinner out.  I praise God for an iPad that I can "plug" Miss M into sometimes so I can catch up with my friends.  :-)  Love you, Sara.
--Miss M had a wonderful visit with her mom and siblings today.  The visit lasted the entire planned time and as a bonus she also got to talk on the phone to her grandma and the man she calls daddy.

Prayer Requests:
--The first thing Miss M mentioned again after today's visit is how much her big sister wants to come and live with us.  She said the two of them cried over it.  It makes me so sad and so confused.  Pray that I have wisdom to know when to approach the possibility of having Miss M's sister possibly come live with us.