Independence Day
America's Birthday
Hometown Fireworks
Friends and Family Gathering
After I moved to Arizona
And always went home to Michigan for the summer
And always over the 4th of July
It became my favorite holiday
But last year
July 4, 2014
Was transformational
And this year
July 4, 2015
I know it will be my favorite holiday for life.
Because next year
July 4, 2016
I believe my little misses will have my last name
And be my Forever and Always Daughters.
You see
One year ago today
I went to a crisis center
And I picked up two curly-haired little misses
Just five and three and a half
Who had been living there in separate areas
For the past six weeks
Seeing each other just one hour a day because
Their case manager couldn't find a home that would take both of them
Let alone take their six week old baby sister who was placed in a different home.
(She would come four days later....)
For six weeks
Yes, six,
Off and on
I was in communication with their case manager,
I was willing take all three
And be a supporting player for their birth mom
But we were playing a waiting game as to when my
Little Man and A-girl would be officially moving back home to their mom.
Six weeks
Six weeks
SIX LONG weeks
Someone else should have stepped forward
Someone else should have jumped at the chance to foster these sweethearts
Someone else should have been approved to care for them
But Someone Else had other plans.
And those plans were they were supposed to come to me.
And little did I know that would lead to Forever and Always.
A year ago I could see His plans
I could see Him opening doors
Even when I thought doors were closing
He would swing them open again.
But I thought it was for me to support their mom
It had been an additional part of fostering children that I hadn't seen coming
Supporting single moms as a single mom myself.
I thought the plan was for me to provide them a home together.
I thought it was going to be for 3 - 6 months.
I thought it was another reunification story I would get to share.
I never
NEVER
Believed Forever and Always was in His plans
For me and these three little ones moving into my home.
And I promised myself
Promised
Ha
I wouldn't get too attached
As I was heartbroken over A-girl and Little Man fresh goodbyes
And I was honestly scared if I had much more of my heart to give away so fully again.
But Someone Else had other plans.
You see
He had Forever and Always plans in the future
And I had no idea.
I was head-over-heels in love within an hour of being their
Foster Momma
Their "Maryann Momma"
I was head-over-heels in love within one cuddle with curls in my face
(And I hadn't even meet Sweet Baby Girl, yet!)
By the end of July I was confessing to God
That I didn't think I would survive another goodbye.
That I wouldn't survive another goodbye.
Then
The fall was weird.
Things didn't go AT ALL as the case plan had predicted.
They were not going back to their mom in October
Or December.
The winter was awkward.
Things were changing but nothing was official or certain.
I was starting to dare to dream
But I was also scared I was setting myself up for major heartache again.
Doubt set in.
Fear set in.
I was not trusting in the One who had laid out His plans so perfectly.
The spring was transformational.
Their birth mom, first mom, opened up to me.
Reached out to me.
Stated her wishes and made unselfish decisions.
The case plan was changed.
The judge sent orders and signed papers.
Yes.
Adoption.
It's coming.
Lord willing.
There are some big pieces to still fall in place
Specifically for the two biggest little misses
But I believe
I know
I have faith
That He will see us through these steps
Because
Look at the past year
The past year and six weeks
He sent them to me
He saved them for me
He blessed me with them.
The road to adoption is still long
So long
And still complicated
Like migraine complicated
And nothing
NOTHING
In foster care is ever certain
Until the judge declares them adopted
To me
But it is moving that way
And faster than I could have ever prayed
Dreamed
Hoped
Asked.
And I have faith in His plan
His Forever and Always plan.
There is so much more to this story.
So much more.
Blogs to come once I am free
And feeling at peace to do so.
There is so much more to happen
So much more
Until the judge declares them mine
Forever and Always.
But the pieces are falling into place.
And I can see His will.
And I can see His blessings.
And I can see His provisions.
And this July 4
I am reminded of my nerves
A year ago
Driving to the crisis center
To pick up these sweet little misses
I had only met once
For about 30 minutes
(And my fear of a six week old baby girl to come in four days!)
And this July 4
As we unpack from our family vacation
The one to the ocean we hope to go to every year
They call me their Forever and Always Momma
Or just Mom
(Best three letter word in the world.)
I call them by their Forever and Always names
Or SueBooLou
(Which they will "get" one day when I let them read these blogs.)
And I revel in His plan
In His answering my heart's desire
And I pray all the pieces continue to fall into place
And next July 4
I hope
I pray
I believe
Their last name will be my last name
Forever and Always
