A Day for the History Books

A Sunday
A full day
A long day
A day without fighting.

That bears repeating.

A day without fighting.

I'm literally sitting here tonight
In awe that it is the truth
I'm replaying the day in my head.

We got up early
Dropped Kayleen
And my niece
At the airport
(Breaks my heart every year)
No fighting.

Had breakfast at IHOP
Went to church
Took the girls with me while I did a bit of
Fast-as-possible
Clothes shopping
And then a fast Walmart trip
For this and that
For myself
And plugged them into the iPods
No fighting.

Came home
Girls helped unpack
Lunch of left-over turkey sandwiches
Cleaned up
Stripped beds
Started laundry
Girls played school
And played recess
And played community service project
(I had them "make beds" at a local nursing home -
Aka - their own beds).
And played art class

And
All
Without
Fighting.

Ordered pizza in for dinner
Let them watch Peter Pan on TV
They got ready for bed
We read
We played Roses and Thorns
We prayed
And they are sleeping

And
All
Without
A
Single
Fight
Unkind word
Disagreement
Squeals of anger.

Thank you, God.
Thank you.

Praise Report - See above.

Prayer Request - I am running on fumes.  I can't pinpoint a specific cause, reason, catalyst - but it is my reality right now.  Please pray for my physical and emotional strength.  Please pray for me to have an understanding and kind heart.  Please pray for me to have a controlled tongue seasoned with love not impatience.

Arizona Girlz Day Spa

My niece got this book from the library while back in Michigan
And told her mom that we HAD to do a spa day while in Arizona

First on the agenda was the banana and honey face mask

And of course
One has to have cucumbers over ones eyes

And there must be calming instrumental music playing.

Then, a foot soak was in order
With magazines to read, of course.

And there was hairstyles done by Kayleen.
The master of braiding.

Nails were on the agenda
But the spa hosts were a little pooped out
And we ended with a healthy spa snack.

The week spent together with Miss M, Ms. O, my niece, my sister, and I
Has been wonderful on many levels
Yet, unexpectedly challenging on others.
(As previous post alluded to.)

We have a shocking lack of pictures due to running from one thing to another
And then just trying to soak in the fun and forgetting to take pictures in the process.
We haven't regretted it during the time together,
But I know we will in the near future.

It will be hard to see Kayleen and my niece go tomorrow
And know that I probably won't see them until summer
This is my first year not going home to Michigan for Christmas and my birthday
And I think that is adding to my holiday struggle.

However,
Since this is the first time I will be in Arizona for Christmas
And since I have kids now
I invested in a little Christmas tree.
It is up
And looking lovely
But more importantly my nativity is up
And is my focus with both girls.
(One who is very Santa-obsessed.)
I love my Nativity and the family and friends who
Gifted me with the many pieces of it.

Not a Happy Thanksgiving Post....Yet

Please pray.
Things have been rough here.
The girls are melting down
And making poor choices
And showing a complete lack of self-control
(On emotional and physical levels)
In ways that are new,
Different,
And beyond frustrating to me.

I wrote an entirely other post tonight
But it's not publishable
But I have to post
Because I need you
I need your prayers

Tomorrow,
Well, actually today,
Since it is 1:29 am,
Is Thanksgiving.
My sister is here
My niece is here
The girls' mom is coming
My friend, her family, and her mom are coming
And I am so excited for it.
But
I am on the verge of a melt down.

It's not that I haven't had time for "myself"

I have

Tonight in fact was a sister-sister night out

It's not that I want to throw in the towel
Not that the devil hasn't thrown it in my face

But I have hit a wall
I have reached a junction that I didn't see on the horizon
And that I don't know how to deal with this
Because each time I think we are making headway
The behaviors are repeated
Again
In new and different ways
And increasing with magnitude and frequency

My poor sister doesn't know how to help me
She's trying
And honestly,
If she weren't here since last Thursday
I would have possibly exploded
But
In my frustration over the frequency of issues
In the past week
I'm becoming short with her
Because I am not processing all of this appropriately
Healthy.

The girls,
Well,
They aren't getting it right now.
At any level.

And honestly,
I'm mad
I'm angry
I'm frustrated
I'm disappointed
And partly at them
(Okay - some days a LOT at them)
But a lot at me
Because I am not letting go
Because I am taking everything personally
Because I am pulling away from our connection
And it's wrong
So wrong

It's been a growing issue since just before Halloween
I don't know if it's the holiday season

(With a birthday mixed in)

Or if it is the end of the 'honeymoon'
But it's starting to snowball
And
Frankly
I hate snow and snowballs.

• Pray for me to have wisdom as to how to handle the frequent negative behavior and attention choices as well as the repeated ones
• Pray for me to be able to separate my personal feelings at their behavior choices and can be understanding of the emotional side from their view point
• Pray for me to rebuild connections and have wisdom of how to reestablish that with thoughtfulness
• Pray for the girls.  Ask that they would feel safe, comfortable, and loved here enough to grow in maturity, responsibility, and respect.
• There is more, I know...but tonight this is all I can muster.

22 days and counting...

Heaven help us all.
Miss M's birthday is on Dec. 5th.

(Not that anyone in the world 

Who has met her 

Or talked with her since Halloween

Doesn't know that.)

Every day it is a constant bombardment of

"Did you remember that my birthday is coming soon?"

"Have you bought my birthday presents yet?"

"Did you buy the napkins for my birthday party?" 

"What time will you pick me up from school on my birthday?"

"Will they put a candle in my pizza-cookie at Oregano's and sing me Happy Birthday?"

"Will you put up my birthday banner in the living or the kitchen?"

"I just realized I am going to be 9 and not 8. Did you remember that I am going to be 9/"

I could go on and on.
It's usually the same questions.
I've answered all of them 10+ times
But now I am just tired.
I ask her the answer back a
And tell her to tell me the answer
That I know she already knows.
I'm exhausted.
Ms. O's exhausted.

There is SO much going on this month
Before her birthday
And we are trying to get her to focus on the
Upcoming Buds

Thursday afternoon - Dance recital

Thursday night - My sister and niece coming from Michigan

Saturday - Mommy visit

Saturday night - Taking my niece to church with us

Sunday - Foster care support group at Harvest Church

Wednesday - Turkey Trot

Thursday - Thanksgiving - with mommy coming

Friday - Feed My Starving Children food packing

Saturday - Zoo Lights

And there is more the week after
Thanksgiving
And all of this happens
Before her family birthday party
On the 2nd
Child's Play's Junie B. Jones show
With her mom, Ms. O, and Me
And dinner at Oregano's
And presents.
And then her actually birthday
On the 5th
And her favorite home-cooked meal
And one more present.

Tonight
Her roses and thorns turn
Starting with all of her upcoming buds
And she proceeded to list nearly every one
I listed above
And
Some that I didn't.

Ms. O sighed out loud at one point
And put her head in her arms.
My sentiments exactly.

Heaven help me.
Let me make it until the 5th
Without having to muzzle her.

*******************************************************
Praise Report:
Thank you, Jesus, for the woozy head that lead to me not wanting to cook dinner, that lead to Chipotle, that lead to me figuring out I didn't have my debit card, that lead me to realize I left it at Olive Garden the previous night when we went out to dinner with a friend. 

Prayer Request:
Please pray for my fellow friends who also have become foster parents in recent months.  There were 12 couples and myself who were all trained together in the winter/spring.  Five of us are now licensed and have placements.  Each of the other families have very different situations and needs with their own foster-love placements and how they fit into their biological families.  Breathe a prayer up for these families that God knows and knows their exact needs. Pray they are strengthen, that they are given wisdom, and that the Lord will provide and show His perfect timing for each of their foster-love children.

On the Other Side

Being a teacher
Means
Giving homework

I always tried
My best
To make sure
It was review work
Practice work
Work that had meaning

I know I always had parents complain
Too much
Not enough
Too easy
Too hard
Too many projects
Not enough projects

Now I am on other side of homework
Not the giving from school
But the home support side
And
I
Hate
It.

With Miss M
It's been pretty good.
She gets a packet each Friday
That is due the next Friday

She usually is independent
Sometimes a little slow
Sometimes a little distracted
But fairly cooperative
Fairly focused

Not so with Ms. O.
It's either a fight
Or like pulling teeth
Every time.
She hates math.
She hates writing.
She won't do anything without help
But she gets an attitude when you help
She sits there for
HUGE amounts of time
Doing nothing
And then gets mad when I question her
And see if she needs help

Today she was working on a book report
It was a four and a half hour drama session
Seriously
She started at 1:30 and
Got done at 5:00
I tried to help
I tried to intervene
I tried to give steps
I tried using a timer
I tried all the tricks I had to help
She finally speed up and finished
After threats of not being able to watch
The RedBox movie we had rented
Lovely.

It is 4 and 1/2 hours later now
And honestly
I'm still not over it

I have got to learn
Somehow
How to
Let go
Calm down
Chill
Forgive
Forget
Breathe
After these encounters.

They really aren't that major
But they are based on
Choice
And it effects the whole house
For the whole time
And by the time she is
Good
Ready
Normal
I am 
Moody
Snapping
Frustrated
Irritable
The rest of the day
Barking orders
Giving commands
Not loving
Not laughing
Not smiling
Just praying for bedtime

All because I
Was annoyed
Frustrated
Put out
Embarrassed
By a 10-year old's
Homework attitude
Homework mood
Homework meltdown

And my response
My choice
Is no better than hers

Oy

Praise Reports:
Laundry is done.
Dishes are washed.
Living room is clean.
My sister and niece come in 4 days!

Prayer Request:
Tomorrow is another full day off.  I'm sort of burnt out from this one, to be honest.  Money is tight and my patience is thin.  Please pray.

Trading In

Praise Report!
We left home today in my trusty
Black KIA Spectra 5
That I bought as a
Brand-new
Late-model
In 2006.

We came home in our
New-to-us 2008
Beige Ford Escape
That we (I) bought as a
Holy cow
We need more room
SUV
Today.

Still 5 seats
But MUCH roomier
And
What do you know
There is storage area in the back!
We went out and got groceries tonight
Just to prove it to ourselves!

Good golly
At the rate I am going
I'll be driving a mini-van before I know it!

Prayer Request:
Next adventure to begin praying about -
House shopping!
:-)
:-(

This two-bedroom
1000 square foot
No backyard
Condo
Isn't cutting it.
(Well, it's cutting it for now -
But a bit more space would be so wonderful
And a backyard -
That is now suddenly my new dream.)

And besides.
I need a guest bedroom.

And, oh,
A fourth bedroom would mean that I could foster
More kids
And mixed-gender sibling groups.

Please pray for guidance!

Open with Caution

Beware -
This blog entry is very random.
It may be dangerous to the
Type A
Organized
Categorized
Connected
Mind.
(Which I apparently no longer have or can maintain.)

**************************

Problem 1.
I hate feet.
Problem 2.
I hate stinky feet.
Problem 3.
Ms. O has stinky feet.

Ms. O has really stinky feet.

So
Finally
I can't stand it anymore
We talk
I tell her she needs to wash her feet each night
When we get home

(I can't wait for nighttime showers)

So
She goes in the bathroom
I hear water
I assume all is well
Until I find that she is sitting on the bathroom counter
WITH HER FEET IN THE BATHROOM SINK!

Picture me
Grossing out
******************************

You know those dolls
The ones with the string you could pull from the back
And they would talk?

(I'm really too young to have had one myself

Honest

But I saw pictures

I heard tales.)

Well,
Anyway
Miss M
Is that doll
Except the string never runs out sometimes
And
I know that I didn't pull the string to make her start
But she goes
And goes
And goes

Heaven help me.
I love the child.
But, I miss my silent time in my head at times.
*******************************
I am THAT woman
The one who takes candy from the kids'
Halloween baskets
When they are asleep

(They may be running low on

Snack size 

Snickers

Twix

And Peanut M&M's.

I was even desperate enough to try a Butterfingers a night ago

(Still not impressed.)

Just sayin.)

I do confess my sin of stealing in the morning
And I do make sure I am fair and always take the same amount of each child
(I don't play favorites around here.)
*********************************
Friday night
I am having a kid-free night out
The school was offering a 6:00 - 9:30
Game Night
At one of the elementary schools
Dinner is provided
And I decided to pay the money
And sign them up
And then I contacted friends
And this girl is GOING OUT!
Bring on the frozen margaritas

(Yes, that was plural!)

Bring on an adult movie

(No animation, thank you very much!)

Now just pray that I can stay up that late on a Friday night!
*********************************
While Miss M was taking her shower tonight
Ms. O and I were going over her homework
And I was looking through some notes/flyers
And talking about some plans
Ms. O opened up.
Now - we have a good relationship
But it's a relationship built on trust in the here and now
She doesn't share much about before
Or what's to come

(Not like her sister - she's the exact opposite.)

Ms. O says
"I'm still not used to this."

"Used to what?"

"You checking over my homework
You reading through my papers
You telling me what we might try to do this weekend
You helping me."

"What do you mean not used to it?"

"No one's ever done that before."

"How do you feel about it now?"

"I like it.
I'm just not used to it.
Well, maybe I'm getting used to it,
But I don't want to get too used to it
Because it probably won't be that way later."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Mommy is awesome.
Isn't she awesome?"

"Yeah, your mommy is awesome."

"See - I told you she was awesome.
But she was always busy with work
Or Baby G
Or things going on
And I'm not used to someone
Checking this stuff."

She pauses.

"And Mommy is doing really well
And she's really kind
But I don't think that part will change when we get back together
Because then she'll be busy with a new job
And busy caring for all of us..."

"What do you think will change
Or has already changed?"

"Lots -
But the best is that before we didn't always pray
And now we always pray together
And that's a good thing."

Sigh.
I love this kiddo.
She's strong.
She's funny.
She's resilient.
But
I wish
I could take off the load,
The silent load
The invisible load
The habitual load
Off her shoulders
And help her be a kid
And not feel the pressure
But
It's not that easy
But
She's prayed for
She's loved
And she is HIS.
************************************
One of the girls says to me tonight
"I'm becoming a gorilla."

"Say what?"

"I'm growing hair all over my legs.
I think you are going to have to shave them for me."

Sigh.

"Okay - well, let's run that past your mom this weekend and
Get her thoughts and then we'll talk."

(I am already grossed out,

Beyond words,

When I help you clear your ears

And

Cut your toe nails.

I am already freaked out,

Beyond words,

When I help you trim your fingernails

And

Clean under those fingernails.

Now...

Shaving your legs

Or even teaching you how to shave your legs...

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!)

These are not things they prepared me for in my foster training.
***********************************************
Praise Reports:
Three day weekend this weekend!  Bring on the bike rides, game time, movie watching, and catch-up time.  So grateful for this small little break coming our way.

Prayer Request:
Last Saturday the girls did not have their visit with their mom or brother because CPS messed up for the second week in a row with transportation.  Please pray that the paperwork, phone calls, and connections were actually followed through with this week and that the taxi picks up the girls' mom so they can all be together for their weekly visit.

Meeting Mommy

I've loved her before I met her
Because I loved Miss M
Then I loved her more when I got to talk with her on the phone
Because I could hear her heart
Because I could hear her love
Because I could hear her fight
Then today I got to meet her
And I love her even more.

She is
Funny
Friendly
A laugh-er
Silly
Child-like
Real
Honest
Beautiful
Flexible
Grateful
Loving
Fun

I see Miss M in her
A lot
Her freckles
Her eyes
Her smarts
I see Ms. O in her
A lot
Her hair coloring
Her giggle
Her sense of humor

Manners are important to her
Hugs are special to her
"I love yous" are frequent and heart felt
Belief in God's divine hand in all is evident
Gratitude is expressed

I cried on the way home
I'm crying now
Lots of emotions
Mostly good ones as related to her relationship with her girls
But hard ones on the boundary level for me

I didn't want to leave her.
I want to take her under my wing as well.
I want to be that help.

But
I know
In my head
That's not my role
Here
Now
It's not my role
I do know that
But
In my heart
It hurts

But
I can't
Not now
Not for the sake of the girls
Not for the sake of what I have signed up for
But
It doesn't matter if I can't

Because
God can
And
God is

There is no doubt in my mind that I will always be in her life
The girls' lives
Their family's lives
She said it several times
And I promised it several times
I even talked to "Daddy" in Oregon on the phone today
He expressed his thanks for my caring for "his girls"
I said it was my pleasure
Because
Honestly

It has been
It is

And
I can't do anything
Except thank God for
This
Opportunity in my life
This
Change in my life
This
Moment in my life
This
Calling in my life
This
Lesson in my life

And
I can't do anything
Except ask God for
More love
More wisdom
More resources
More opportunities
More grace
More mercy
More lessons

Praise Report:
Thank you for your prayers today
I felt them
She felt them
The girls loved it
The girls thought it was normal
The girls were so excited for us to all be together
As was I
As was she

And a HUGE praise and thanks goes out to the WONDERFUL staff and volunteers who set up, designed, organized, and ran Esther's Hope Festival today.  It was an AMAZING time and we actually stayed for the entire three hours and enjoyed every moment.

Prayer Request:
Pray for wisdom as the parent aide, the girls' mom, and I approach CPS about the lack of care, lack of follow-through, and lack of attention that the caseworker has provided for the girls and their brother.

Interesting Note:
Well...interesting to me anyway.  Between being at the festival for 3 AMAZING hours and then driving the highways for about 2 hours tonight...this picture gives me justification for my tired body, soul, and spirit.

The total miles driven today were more like 155 miles, but I started the official tracking a little into the trip.  From here to get her, from getting her to church, from church to return her, and then from leaving her back to here.

If it's 3 strikes and you're out, what it is when it your 5th?

On the vent side of things - 

The CPS caseworker didn't doing her job
AGAIN.
This is the fifth time since July
(When Miss M came)
That the kids weekly visit with their mom
Was cancelled
Or unable to happen
Because of the CPS caseworker
NOT DOING HER JOB.

The girls' mom moved two weeks ago.
All the transportation paperwork was submitted.
All that needed to be done was to fax it on.
Calls and reminders were made.
Last week the transportation went to the wrong spot
Caseworker hadn't done her job
(To make a long story short, it worked out last week
And she got a ride to the meeting place.)
Calls and reminders were made again.
Promises were made that it was done.
It was handle.
It wouldn't be a problem.

Not true.
Nothing was done.
Transportation went to the wrong spot again.
No paperwork submitted to the right people.
And for the FIFTH time
Since July
The girls' mom lost out on
FOUR hours with
HER kids
Because CPS caseworker
DIDN'T DO her job again.

I know Jesus teaches forgive
7 times 7
But
Honestly
I'm graced out at 5 right now.
And that's just the weekly visit transportation issue.

On the praise side of things - 

The Lord has prompted me to invite the girls mom
To come with us to the Esther's Hope Festival on Sundays
So the girls
While disappointed
Weren't as devastated as they would have been
As they have been in the past
Because they knew we'd be together on Sunday.
However,
Their 3 year old brother didn't get to see them
Or his mom
Or vice versa.
So sad.
So wrong.
No excuse.
I'm sorry.
But, honestly.
There is no excuse for it at this point anymore.

Praise Report:
We used the bikes today to go for a bike ride.  Both girls rode well.  Both girls were in good moods.  Both girls have asked to go again.  The same bikes I was ready to throw in the garbage earlier in the week are now my friends again.  It was a lovely ride and Lord willing, we'll get one squeezed in tomorrow!

Prayer Request:
People have asked "How will you prepare the girls for the time spent with you and their mom together?" My answer is, "I'm not." I don't know how to prepare them.  Besides telling them, like always, that they have to talk to me, that they have to share with me how they are feeling, that they have to be honest with me, I don't know what else to do.  Honestly, they both have expressed their absolute joy in the situation.  They both see us as friends who have never met and are excited for us to hang out.  Please pray that I can be myself, as can she.  Please pray for wisdom in my conversation and in my care for the girls in her presence.  Please pray that I will have appropriate boundaries, yet be open to whatever the Lord leads me to during our time and interactions together tomorrow and moving forward.

Praise and Prayer

Esther’s Hope Festival
Sunday, November 4, 2012
3:30 p.m. – 6:30 p.m.

The festival is a celebration of all foster and adoptive families in the Valley. All current and potential foster or adoptive families are invited to attend. Those seeking resources and information on ways to support these families are also invited to attend this free event.

 

The girls and I have been excited about Esther's Hope Festival at our church for several weeks now. There is going to be cotton candy, live music, bounce houses, photo booths, face painting, obstacle course, pony rides, etc. We decided a few weeks ago to have the girls where their EVERY shirts that got from CFCA the night of the 30th anniversary event.

Then this week, the Lord laid on my heart to invite the girls' mom to come and join us. I sat on the prompting for a few days because I honestly was trying to figure out the logistics in my mind - trying to play out the scenarios in my mind. Trying to control whatever I thought I could control.

 

Background - I have been asking the CPS caseworker to set up an official 'ice-breaker' meeting with the girls' mom since August 21st. Nothing has happened. At our CFT last week, I decided I wasn't leaving until I had that meeting arranged. In the end, the CPS caseworker left it up to me to meet up with the girls' mom whenever, wherever I wanted due to the relationship she and I have built through letters/journals and now bi-weekly phone conversations. 

 

I had been picturing our first time together with her, the girls, and I to be at a park with maybe a picnic lunch. This isn't what I had pictured in my head. (Yet - after the the park, my next thought was about inviting her to my house for Thanksgiving dinner.) 

 

The festival? Really, Lord? 

 

Will she be comfortable? Will the girls know who to listen to? Will the girls behave? Will she want to come? Will we have comfortable conversation? Will the car ride to pick her up and then drop her off be too long and too uncomfortable? Will it be too much for the girls to handle? 

 

I played the questions in my head a million times, a million ways, and it didn't matter. I knew I was supposed to invite her. No doubt about it. Invite her! Tonight at dinner I just had to do it. I sent it via text, asking her to join us. (I would have called, but I have two girls who NEVER listen to me when I WANT them to listen to me, but then hear EVERYTHING I say on the phone that WASN'T for them or to them! Sigh.) She responded immediately with a YES! She'd love to join us!

 

Praise God! Holy crap!

 

Yeah - it basically went in that order for me in my head and in my heart and back around again. 

 

I can't even begin to express my joy in getting to be able to meet her face to face. To spend time with her and with her and the girls. I truly love her and I tell her that when we talk on the phone. In many ways, I feel like I am temporarily taking care of a friends' kids - a dear friend who just needs a helping hand for a time in order to get some things in line, some things straightened out. I want to fast forward to Sunday. 

 

At the same time...I am nervous. Will I say the right things? How will I maintain my expectations with the girls, yet allow her to be mom. How will the girls handle it all? Did I bite off too much for our first visit? 

 

URGH!

I have to stop.

I have to LET GOD!

I have to have FAITH!

I have to have HOPE!

I have to TRUST!

 

Praise God for this next step in my relationship with this family that means so much to me.

 

Please pray for us ALL on Sunday.

Gross Out!

I cannot
For the life of me
Get two kids to bed at the set bed time

(Granted - 

I am the bed time setter - 

But still!)

When it was just Miss M and me
The schedule was set
And we rarely deviated from it.

But with two
It's double of everything
Double clothes out for tomorrow
Double teeth brushed
Double roses and thorns
Double water bottle refills
Double questions
Double the procrastinations
Double the fun
Double the time
Double the pleasure

(Of double-mint, double-mint, double-mint gum.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

Tonight
Was late
AGAIN

First I had Miss M's
Parent Teacher Conference

(SURREAL being on the other side of the table and talk!)

(She's an amazing student by the way

And NOT a behave problem!

Woo hoo!)

Then I had a nail crisis

(Note to self - acrylic nails suck!)

Then dinner out
(Because I am not superwoman and was too lazy to have to deal with dinner tonight(
And then showers
And then three pieces of Halloween candy
And then
the
GROSS
OUT!

Ms. O went to the shoe rack to pull out her shoes for the morning
"Maryann?
Why is there water all over the counter?"
"I don't know -
Go brush your teeth and I'll look at it."
Five minutes later.
"Maryann?
What was that water from?"
"I don't know -
I forgot to look."

I walk over
I attempt to move the jack-o-latern

(That I had brought inside over night each night 

Because I didn't want to tempt anyone to the point of 

Destruction)

And the pumpkin is squeezable
And then I realize there is mold coming out of the eyes
Like furry, gray, stringy mold
That's not water.
It's rotten pumpkin juice.
(Note to self - pumpkins go rotten MUCH quicker in Arizona than in Michigan)

Notice anything wrong with Miss M's creation?

The pre-mold look

Now picture three girls
Squealing
Grossing out
Freaking out
Over the mush state
Mold state
Nasty state
Of our works of art

Ms. O says
"I didn't realize we were doing a science experiment
When we craved our pumpkins!"

There was a great mixture of
Laughter
And
Horror.

Especially as I stuck my hand in both
Pumpkins
In order to retrieve the
Battery-operated strobe lights in them.

Can you see the mold pile off the top of the lid???  SO nasty!

I joked with the girls if I die young
We'll know it's because of my mold exposure.

Miss M pipes up.
"You can't die.
Cause then who would be live with?"

Then I promised not to die too young
Not until after her mommy was all ready to care for her again.


Then she smiled and said
"Well, at least when you die you know you are going to heaven,
Right, Mommy."

"Right, kiddo."

Then during prayers tonight she says
"And dear God,
If I die when I am young,
I will be happy
Because that just means I will get to come and live with you quicker."

Then when she got done praying she says to me,
"Mommy,
I could picture the sweet angels in heaven saying
'Awwwwww' when I was praying
And then I could hear God saying to them
'Shh....I'm listening to Miss M pray to me."

Miss M blows me away on a daily basis with her profoundness.
Truly.

Tonight's praise and prayer request is coming in a second blog!