Spoke to Soon

Well...blogged to soon
As the case might be.

The Remix melt-down didn't happen last night.
It happened this morning.
Before school.
She ended up being tardy.
As a teacher...I hate tardies!
And as a teacher, I know the school hates tardies!
But...it was a matter of a lesson today.

I couldn't get her out of bed this morning.
Never a good sign.
I have learned that if she doesn't get her 10+ hours,
It's not pretty.
Period.
I try to stay on a tight schedule.
It makes it better for both of us.

She took FOREVER to eat breakfast.
Reminders
Verbal cues.
Time updates.
Didn't help motivate one iota.

Then it was Thursday.
This means PE day.
I am beginning to dread PE day.
Not the class itself.
Just the dang tennis shoes she has to put on.
It's a battle every week.
They fit.
I've checked.
She just struggles with getting them on.
I always help.
Eventually.
I always offer right away,
But we like independence.
I get that.

Today I hated PE day.
Okay, today I HATED the tennis shoes.
She was in her bedroom FOREVER.
Struggling with them.
I offered to help.
No response.
Finally she came out.

"Stupid shoes!
They don't fit!
Every time I loosen them, they tighten back up!"

I don't respond.

The statement is repeated.
Louder.
More frustration.

I say,
"If you'd like my help,
You just need to ask."

No answer.

No she is sitting on the living room floor with the tennis shoes beside her.

I repeat,
"I am more than willing to help you,
You just need to ask in an appropriate way instead of yelling about hating the shoes."

No answer.

It's now 10 minutes after we try to leave.
And 5 minutes after we usually leave.
And 5 minutes until "if we don't leave now you are going to be tardy."

The arms are now crossed.
And that dang lower lip is sticking out.

Me:
"You have a choice.
You can ask for help
Or you can go have a time-out in your room."

No answer.

Oh, goody.
Hadn't seen the stubbornness before.
I guess I should have listened more to all those Strong-Willed child talks I always turned from when airing on Family Life Radio.

Me:
"You have 5 seconds to decide.
Either choose to ask for help with the tennis shoes,
Or you are heading to your room until you can choose to have a better attitude.
Either way you have to wear the tennis shoes.  For PE and dance class."

No answer.

I send her to her room.
(First time for that.)
She goes.
(Whew!)

She sits on the bed.
Arms crossed.
Mad.
Mad.
Mad.

I let three minutes pass.

Me from the computer where I am pretending to calmly play solitaire:
"Just a reminder that you are going to be tardy for school
And when I drop you off
You will be the one to explain
The reason for your tardiness,
Not me,
Because it has to do with your attitude and choices this morning."

No answer.

Me:
"You are welcome back out here when you are ready to talk in a polite voice."

30 seconds later she comes up to me with the shoes in hand.
"Mommy, can you please help me with my tennis shoes."

I do.

Within 1 minute they are on her feet.
She is exclaiming over how I made them so easy to put on.
(Like she does EVERY Thursday.)
She thanked me.

We head out the front door to the car.

"Mommy,
I'm sorry for my poor attitude this morning."

"Thank you for your apology.
I forgive you."

"Are we going to be late?"

"Yes, probably."

"Do I really have to tell them that it's my fault that I am late?"

"Yes.
And why do you think I want you to be the one to do that?"

"So I learn how to choose to have a good attitude
And so it doesn't make us late."

"True."

"And so I remember to ask for help instead of whining."

"True again."

We listen to K-love on the way to work.
She sings.
And I watched every light
And am wondering why TODAY we get all green lights
When I am TRYING to teach her a lesson!
Sigh.

We pull in to the school parking lot
At 1 minute past the second bell.
She is officially tardy.

Whew.
(I swear I didn't drive under the speed limit...but I do admit that I did speed, like I usually do.)
Lesson going to be followed through.
I walk her into the office.
The secretaries immediately ribbed me for having brought Miss M in late.
I shake my head and say "It wasn't me, so I can't take the blame."

They fill out the tardy pass.
They say,
"And what is the reason you are late?
Did you sleep in or take too long to get dressed?"

"No - I had a bad attitude and I made us late."
"Oh, okay.  Well, I hope you have a better rest of the day."
"I will.  My mommy and I worked it out."

And after a hug to me,
She was off.

The good news is that she had an excellent rest of the day.
Her first dance class - she LOVED and raved all about it all night.
She earned all three of her allowance check marks while at after school care.
She picked up her pottery we painted this weekend and loved how it turned out.
She practiced her spelling words and thinks she'll get another A+ on the test tomorrow.
When she played roses and thorns tonight, she had no thorns. 
Just another "rosy day", as she likes to say.

Now...let's see what tomorrow morning brings!
Fingers crossed!

Praise Reports:
* Miss M completed week 1 of 10 weeks of the dance class that Arizona Friends of Foster Families sponsored for her.  She loved it and demonstrated the first part of the dance to me at least four times.

Prayer Requests:
* I haven't heard anything from the parent aide about Miss M's visit on Saturday still.  Keep praying that it happens and all of them can spend some quality time together.
* Miss M's mom has a new cell phone and would like to start talking to Miss M once a week on the phone, but the caseworker has yet to respond to my inquiry about the matter.  I know she has a big responsibility in deciding that, but I just pray that she responds back to me either one way or the other so I can speak with clarity to Miss M.