August was hard.
I'm not going to lie.
Going back to work.
New grade level.
New subject area.
Two Littles into two daycares.
Two Littles with temper issues.
Two Littles under 3.
I was
I am
So out of my element.
But
Praise God for friends.
Friends who were there
When I finally broke.
When I finally opened.
When I finally admitted defeat
To others besides myself.
Friends telling me the emotions I was dealing with were
Are
Normal.
Friends with prayer.
Friends with unconditional love.
Friends with logical advice.
And,
I started listening to the book
One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are
By Ann Voskamp
And
The beauty of her language
Of her word choice
Of her prose
Is speaking to me.
I don't pretend to understand it all.
I don't pretend to necessarily even agree with it all.
And
I have a long
Long
Way to go
To increase my attitude of gratitude.
But it has opened my eyes
And my heart
To stop
And look for
Eucharisteo
Thanksgiving
Joy
In the simple
Everyday
Day to day life.
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| http://ordinarilyextraordinary.com/2011/02/22/eucharisteo-art/ |
Look for the blessings.
Look for the smiles.
Look for the loves.
And
I am finding them
Everywhere
In Toddler-Hood.
My A-girl
Chanting
Yellow, black
Yellow, black
Yellow, black
Over and over
As I am going around the entrance curve
From the 60 to the 101
A little faster than I should
And as I am about to lose it
I see this
And I remember to rejoice in her observation skills.
And laugh.
Coming out into the living room
And seeing she has dumped out all of her
Kitchen food and supplies
Out of its box
But hadn't put all the pillows and blankets back away yet.
She immediately picked up the toys
Putting them all back into the box.
Then proceeded every single pillow
All six of them
On the correct chairs
And then placed the correct throw
On each chair.
And I remember to rejoice in her listening and processing.
And give her hugs and praises.
Every day
Pulling into the cul-de-sac
A little cheer from the middle seats
Home!
Home!
Home!
One loud voice
Of our A-girl
And one little voice
Of Little Man
Rejoicing to be home
Together
With me
And I remember to give thanks for their feeling at home.
And secretly say Home in my heart as well.
Chubby hands of Little Man
Little hands of A-Girl
Held up in the air
For the most random of things
To give me a high-five
Or ask me for one.
A-Girl gave me a high five yesterday
Used my napkin to pick up a spill on the table.
Little Man reached up for a high-five
After I told him "good job"
For putting his shoes in the basket
And I remember to give thanks for their smiles
Smiles of pride and pleasure.
Waking up A-Girl
Every morning
From the floor of the closet
And having her snuggle my neck
In her quiet morning hours
And then walking into Little Man's room
And awaiting the good-morning squeal
That inevitably comes from his crib
As we walk in to start the Littles morning
And I remember to rejoice in morning smiles
And don't mind that morning wet diaper smell
As much.
Playing animal sound game in the car
With A-Girl
And her saying "Don't want it"
When I ask her for the sound a cow makes
And the sound a sheep makes
And I
Try
To remember
To give thanks for her independence
For her ability to start talking in semi-sentences
(And tell her I am not going to play if she refuses certain animals.)
Little Man's asthma kicking up
Big time
And a crazy-mess with his insurance
And prescription coverage
And eventually remembering to give thanks
For a day off
To spend home
With just him
And love on him
And chase him
And hold him while he screams his head off
During the breathing treatments.
Life in the Hood
Is Good
Is Hard
Is Joy-Filled
And I am learning
Learning to look for joy.
Learning to let things go.
Learning to look for the
Eucharisteo
Less you think I am on some drug
In some high
Or state of denial
You will remember that
Yes
I still do have an 8 year old.
And there is a shocking lack of
Praise
Thanksgiving
Joy-Moments
Focused on her.
Bluntly
That is because
But I am focusing on the
Good
Fun
Easier
In this blog
As an attempt to avoid
The head spinning frustrations
With that certain 8 year old.
Pray?
For her
For me
Please.
Thanks.
