Little Man is Dracula in Disguise

My
Sweet
Adorable
Funny
Chubby
Smiley
Cuddly
Little Man
Got
Kicked
Out
Of
Daycare
Today.

Yes.

At 10:10,
I missed a phone call from the daycare,
Saying I had a 1/2 hour to respond to the message
Or else they would start going through the emergency list.
Little Man had bit 3
Yes, THREE,
Children
This morning
And the rule is if you bite more than 2,
Then you are sent home.

Yes.
Little Man
Got sent home from daycare
Today.

I don't know what to do.
Seriously.

I am back to work.
Tonight was Meet the Teacher.
I had a millions things to do.
And I was sitting in my classroom
Crying
Frustrated
Annoyed
Angry
Clueless
As to what to do.

It's almost 12 hours later
And I still am.

When you take new foster placements
They always tell you to "assess the impact"
That the children will have on your home.
It's impossible to do.
I mean
Who in the right mind
Thinks,
"Oh, I might have a toddler who bites
And who might get kicked out of daycare for the day
(And forever, if it continues)
And I'll have to pick up the 15 month old
And figure out what to do with him for the day
And have a plan for that?
Not me.

God provided.
Again.
In many ways,
Despite my tears.

One and Two:
My sister, Janelle,
Is in town with my niece,
(I have lots to blog about our time together...
Just no energy to do so--
Let's just say I have begged her to extend her trip
Or consider moving here.
The extra pair of hands
And ear to vent to
Is invaluable.)
And my neighbor (Splashing Sarah) was home
And able to go pick up Dracula
And bring him back to Janelle
Where she, my niece, and Miz N
Cancelled their plans for the day
To stay home with Dracula.

Three:
I stopped at the District Office
To pick up a quick item
And saw three different prayer warriors
And opened up
And shared
And asked for prayers.
God knew I needed to see them.
Each of them.

Four:
A song on the radio.
(This song haunts me at times.)

Five:
This morning
During my attempt to spend some time in the Word
Before the kids get up
(I am NOT a morning person.)
I was expanding my reading from James 1 yesterday
Specifically verses 2 and 3.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

I started cross referencing the word "perseverance" or "endurance"
And ended up reading over and reflecting on 2 Peter 1:5-8.
For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness;and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
I remember thinking 
"Lord...what do you have in store?"
And then when this all went down
I was tested
And I failed.
Big time.
Ran for help from everyone
Except Him.
About two hours later I realized it
And these verses came flying back in my face.
I think I know what I will be rereading tomorrow
And probably for the next few days
Weeks.
Yet...
Despite all of God's provisions
It's been 12 hours now
I am
A mess.
Emotionally
Mentally.

I am full of self-doubt
  Did I bite off more than I can chew?
 
I am full of concern
  What if he does this again?
  What do I do with a 15 mo old who gets kicked out of daycare?

I am full of frustration.
I talked to the daycare
They don't do
Won't do
Timeouts.
They 'redirect'
They talk to him about biting hurts
They read him a book about biting and how it hurts.
Sigh.
They don't give an extra nap.
They don't allow an snack at another time during the day.
They said they will "watch" him.
Sigh.

My licensing worker suggested finding a home daycare.
Where?
Who?
When?
Mostly, when.

Please pray.
For wisdom.
For guidance.
For answers.
For Dracula to keep his six little teeth to himself.

Learning About the Littles

I cannot believe
That today marks
Two "official" weeks
With the Littles.

Little Man
And
Boo
   (Who was Miss Giggles
   Who turned into Tigger
   Who has become Boo-
   Think Monsters' Inc.)
Have changed
My house
  (Let's see a crib, diapers, diaper genie, sippy cups, make-shift gates...)
My days
  (Diaper changing, chasing, laughing, temper-tantrums, lots of eating...)
My nights
  (Baby monitors, midnight cries, bedtime hug cuddle prayers, early morning cuddles...)
My thoughts
  (Where are they? What are they doing? Are they okay?)
My memory
  (Seriously...I am little a scattered nightmare now. It's crazy!)
My life
  (And for the better...even when it doesn't feel like it.)

And...in these two weeks,
I have learned a lot of things
About how each of them "tick"
(For better or worse.)

Little Man bites.  Yes.  These are the impression of his six little teeth that he left on the back of Boo the other day.  I don't know what to do to stop him.  It happens SO fast and I obviously can't (and won't ever!) bite him back - and the natural way for him to learn that it hurts is to have it done back to him from the assailant (but I would never tell Boo, or anyone else to do that back to him) - but seriously...what do you do?  People have mentioned bite toys, but he seriously don't bite or put other things in his mouth and when he gets frustrated it happens so fast none of us see it coming.  We yell "STOP!  NO BITE!" trying to startle him in the moments when we do happen to catch it, but now he has bite two different kids, two different days at daycare this week.  URGH!

Boo LOVES to sort, stack, and organize things.  Here she is with all of the plastic cups from the cupboard.  She likes to pull all of one color of the magnetic letters off the refrigerator and walk around the house with them.  It's cute - albeit a little OCD, and it shows me just how smart this little cookie is.

Little Man eats bananas as if they were corn on the cob.  It makes us all laugh.  Little Man LOVES to eat and fruit is his thing. 

Little Man's favorite sitting/standing/thinking/stress-relieving position...I see yoga in his future.

Umm...yeah, Little Man is out numbered here and we love to remind him of the fact.  He was rocking this tutu and rainbow scarf a few nights ago.  We also love to shampoo his hair up into funny spikes and ponies.  Hee, hee.

Little Man and Boo's favorite toy in the house is the rocking chair.  I don't have a good picture (or hardly any) of Boo on it because she is always rocking at about 10 mph it seems!

We LOVE Boo, but she seriously hardly ever stops talking.  The incessant talking in bed has gotten to the point where I have taken her out of bed and started having her fall asleep on the over-sized chair in the living room and then transferring her over to bed later.  We know she is technically speech delayed (probably about a year to six month behind kids her age in speech acquisition) and we want to encourage her to always be talking and learning new words and meanings, but oy...she is sure making up for lost time at two inconvenient spots - the dinner table and at bed time.

Praise Reports Specifically About the Littles:
--Boo's temper tantrums have decreased greatly and she is now able to sit on her time-out rug for 2 or 3 minutes and then get up and bring the timer to me and apologize for what got her into timeout. This is huge, folks! Huge!
--Little Man fights me less and less every day for his 10-minute, twice a day, breathing treatments and has basically stopped whining at the dinner table when he isn't getting food fast enough to please him and is using his sign language to communicate more, eat, and all done.

Prayer Requests Specifically About the Littles:
--Both Boo and Little Man have done fairly well during our daycare transition week this week.  The staff loves them all.  Please be praying that Boo becomes more receptive to the idea of potty training.  She turns 3 next month.  And please, please, please pray that Little Man stops biting other kids and that we would have wisdom of how to teach him that it hurts and must stop.

PS - This is Boo from Monsters' Inc.  My sister and I have started calling Miss Giggles/Tigger that now.  :-)

Still Shaking My Head in Disbelief

After the fiasco
Of bedtime
And the ups and downs of the nighttime
I decided to lay low today,
But I did need to register the kids for daycare.
So
We finally got out of here around 10:45 am.
Woo-hoo!
It was before noon!

We went and visited where
The Littles will spend their days
And where Miz N will spend before school
And after school
And I feel at peace about the placement,
And praise God for the recommendations
And the openings.

We left there and I went in search of a Target.
Of course,
It is lunch time by this point,
And Miz N and I both had growling stomachs,
So, yes,
I'll be that mom,
And eat at Target's cafe.
Miz N pepperoni pizza.
Tigger and Little Man splitting chicken strips and grilled cheese
And me with my Diet Coke and popcorn.
We were happy.
All of us.
I like being this mom.

Then Little Man gets restless.
I decide to let him down,
Forgetting his has no shoes on
Because,
Like always,
He takes them off as soon as I put them on
And I couldn't find both of them when we walked into the store.
Oh, heck,
I'll be THAT mom,
And let him walk around barefoot.
He was happy,
Which makes us happy.
I like being this mom.

Then he leans over,
And before I can get there,
My child has eaten popcorn off the Target floor.
Outstanding.
The people who were mentioning how cute he was,
Were now looking at me with disgust.
I am THAT mom.

Then we head off to the shoe department
In search of something for Little Man's feet
That he can't take off so fast.
All goes well.

Then we start walking toward the school section,
Because I hate the diaper bag I was given,
(Nothing ever stays up on my shoulders.)
And decide I am just going to use a backpack,
Because,
Well,
I love backpacks.
On the way to the other end of the store,
Tigger decides to start throwing things out of the cart,
And carrying on.
No regular interventions work,
So,
As a friend recommended,
I decided to give her a "time-out" in the store,
So she would understand it would not be acceptable,
Not at home,
Not at the store,
Not anywhere.
She sat on the floor under some work-out wear,
And the other three of us waiting a few feet away,
Trying not to give eye-contact,
Not wanting to admit her bellowing voice belonged to us,
But helping her learn.

She was doing her typical fake-cry
That she does when she is in time-out,
Which I now know ends when the timer goes off
(Praise God for cell phone timers that beep!)

But, we don't make it to the two minute mark.

A woman,
Maybe in her 50s,
Comes out of no where,
Tells me I am a "bad mommy"
And I should not let her cry,
And then hands Tigger a dollar bill
(YES! A $1!!!!)
And tells her to go buy some candy!!!
CANDY?!?!?!?!!!!!!

Another woman watched it,
Heard it,
Go down
And our eyes of shock
And disbelief
Met.
I started shaking my head,
Because I didn't know what to say.
She started shaking her head,
(And laughing a bit)
Miz N was standing there in shock,
As well,
And as the CRAZY woman leaves
She whispers loudly to me,
"Well, that was awkward.
Do I get a dollar for not screaming?"

The other woman,
The normal one who was as shocked as me,
Starts to laugh out loud now
And walks off.

All I could do
And still am doing is shaking my head.
I couldn't believe it!
A $1!
Candy?

 

We got to the backpack aisle,
And another woman struck up a conversation with me,
(It happens a LOT now since I go places with three adorable kiddos.)
And I HAVE to tell her what happened.
She gasps
And then laughs
And then says,
"Did it work?"

I realized,
It did.
Tigger had immediately stopped crying when the CRAZY stranger
Gave her the dollar,
And I went and picked her up
Took the dollar
And put her back in the cart.
Tigger kept saying "candy, candy, candy."

That second lady saw me later in the school again,
And immediately started laughing again,
And told said,
"Hey....
This maybe is a new way you can start earning some money.
Come to Target
Let a kid scream
Wait for someone to give you money.
If they carry on long enough,
Someone might give you a $20 to make you leave."

Hmmmm....
Don't tempt me.
LOL.

We got to the register,
And I gave the dollar to Miz N
And told her to pick out something that was $0.79.
She got her Kit Kat,
Went through the line by herself,
And kept the change.
She was ecstatic.

We HAD to tell the cashier the story,
Of course,
And Miz N
Thoroughly
Enjoyed that Kit Kat bar on the ride home,
And in this hot heat,
This is how she looked when I pulled into the garage.

It's two hours later,
And I am still shaking my head
In disbelief.

I remember my aunt,
Telling us about when she had three kiddos
Under the age of 5
And her littlest one
Who was maybe 15 months old
Had grabbed a piece of gum
That had harden on the side of the cart
And put it into her mouth.
My aunt
Instantly
Grabbed her little girl's mouth
And yanked it out
And then a total stranger came up
And yelled at her about
How she was treated her child.
My aunt told me the story
When my cousin was probably 16
But it was very much etched in her
"I-can't-believe-that-just-happened" memory.

Anyone else have one of this
A-total-stranger-comes-up-to-you-in-a-public-place-and-chews-you-out-for-a-parenting-choice?
I bet there are some good ones out there.
This new "mommy" of toddlers would LOVE to hear them.

Maybe that's a second way
I can start making some extra money,
Put them all into a book.
It would be a best-seller,
Right?

The Heartbreak, The Healer

Nighttime was ROUGH tonight.

Little Man had an early nap
So we could go jump at Bounce U
And,
Well,
That experiment did not work.
And at dinner he had a complete meltdown.
So

I followed a friends advice
And said
Screw his bedtime routine
And put him down to bed
At 6:30.

Then,
As it usually happens around here,
When one goes,
One or more follows,
And Tigger,
Whew,
Tigger,
Lost it.
Big time.
When she takes an afternoon nap,
She tends to be up
And talking
In bed
Until 10:30 or 11:00.
So today,
I,
On purpose,
Skipped her nap.
MISTAKE!
She was in bed by 7:00.

7:30 pm,
Little Man is up.
Grouchy as all get out -
Crying to be held
Crying when held
Throwing himself all over the floor.
Begs for a drink.
Throws the drink.
Restless.
Obviously tired.
So restless.

8:30 pm,
Little Man is back in bed,
And Miz N
Finishes her art project,
And we do her bedroom routine.

She should be tried,
Right?
I mean she jumped at Bounce U
For two hours straight this pm.
She begs me to snuggle with her in bed,
And I put her off tonight,
As I am trying to get some school planning started,
But,
I remind her of our agreement
I will check on her every ten minutes
And flash her the ILY sign
(I love you in sign language).
She agrees.

9:03 pm,
She is in bed.

Within 5 minutes,
She was out of bed
With a sore knee.
Could I rub it?

15 more minutes
She is out with a stomach ache.
I send her back in,
Tuck her back in,
Could I scratch her back?
Yes,
But then she HAS TO go to sleep
And no more getting out of bed.
Period.

And
So,
After that,
I purposefully stay out for more than the agreed ten minutes,
Thinking it would give her time to settle in.

Mistake.

10 pm,
I hear her sobbing as I approach the girls' door.
Sobbing.
She's got herself in a negative, bad mess of head space.
Bad.
I can barely understand her,
She's got herself so worked up.
She
Just wants everything to go back to normal.
To go back with mommy.
But, then she won't be with me.
She
Just wants to be with mommy,
But is mad at mommy.
But isn't sure why.
She
Just wants the judge to hurry and make the call to go back to mommy,
But then will I visit her?
Will Grandma R. visit her?
She
Just wants to tell God she is sorry that she can't stop lying and stealing,
And is really worried about something she did when she was five.
She
Thanks me for "saving" her
But wishes I would be the judge
And tell her she has to go back to mommy.
She
Just wants to be hugged.
Just wants to be told she is special.
Just wants to be reassured.
Just wants to be loved.

20-25 minutes later,
After
Tight embracing,
A few bedside confessionals,
Lots of crying,
Gobs nose blowing,
From us both,
(Are you crying, too,
Maryann?
Why?
Because I love you
And it makes me sad to see you hurting.
Oh,

Okay.)
And the decision that she would focus on
Reliving the movie the Princess and the Swan in her head
And then Thumbalina if she needed another positive focus thought,
I tucked her in
Again
And kissed her
Again
And hugged her
Again
And told her I loved her
Again.
And I told her that God loved her
Again
And
Again
And
Again.

And
After 2 more ILY stop-ins
(I didn't wait the 10 minutes either time.
I couldn't.)
She was finally asleep.

God,
Let her sleep.
Let her find peace in that
Little
Sweet
Hurt
Heart of hers.

Note One:
Tonight was one of these blogs that I HAD to write in order to attempt to get to sleep.  It's conversations like these with these sweet, hurt children that break my heart, yet let me see a glimpse into the purpose of this little mission field within the walls of my home that I am called to partake in.

Note Two:
Can I say that I LOVE comments left on my blog or my facebook link? It's true...I do...  But, my blogging isn't about trying to get people to read it and say things like I am "amazing" or "so generous" or whatever. It truly started as a way to empty my head out as I process through this foster journey.  (And as a way to keep my family and friends informed of my life without having to talk to them on the phone...they know how much I hate that.) 

I am NOT "amazing" or "generous" or whatever other lovely thing people try to say.  Honestly, I am just the opposite.   (Oh, heavens...if you only knew.  I try to keep the blogs real - but I seem to come out looking way to good sounding too much of the time.)  However, I serve a mighty Lord who is at work in me, at work with these kids, and at work with these families.  This is what God has called me to do - here and now and maybe forever - to care for these little loves who the system decides, for one reason or twenty, that they cannot be/should not be with their parents for now and maybe for more.  I am just one foster mom of many out there who are serving these valuable children and I cannot and would not be able to take one step, one breath any day without my Heavenly Father walking by my side and giving me the strength to do this.

Love and Laughter Amid Chaos and Screaming

Seriously -
It's is like crazy mad chaos around here.
Don't believe me?
Think I am exaggerating?
Talk to my family in Michigan.
We attempted to Skype Sunday night.
I seriously couldn't hear a word they were saying.
I could just see them laughing at us all.
I mean, I don't blame them.
At one point I moved the camera so they could see
Little Man wailing on the floor
   (Mad because I didn't pick him up when he wanted back up the 20th time)
Tigger jumping on the couch
   (The kid gets air, folks.)
Miz N sitting next to me making crazy faces.
   (That's all she and my niece do while we Skype.)
I did get an email from my mom the next day
Telling me she was praying extra hard.
Hmmm....

 Last week we basically stayed homebound
In an attempt to get the Littles
(I've GOT to stop calling them the babies!)
Acclimated to the house
To the rountines
To the rules.
To me.

Miz N was going nutty.
With just her,
We just went, went, went for three weeks,
And then
Boom.
Nothing.
House bound.

Eventually,
I tried
Walmart.
Then Sams.
Then Fry's.
Then the Splash Pad.
And today,
A community pool.

I am doing them with just me and the kids.
I've got to figure out how to balance this.
How to do this.
How to manage this.



All went great
And fun was had,
Yet,
All were chaotic and contained meltdowns
Of some kind.
From some one.
   (Not from me, yet...but I am sure it will come.)

But through it all,
I am learning.

I've learned to take the stroller on outings
Because then if a certain almost 3 year old
Decides to refuse to walk
When it is time to leave
Then I can strap in the 14 month old
And pick up the jellyfish toddler.

I've learned to take snacks.
Lots of snacks.
And water bottles.
And extra sets of clothes
For a Little Man who seems to fill up a diaper
(Yes, even Huggies)
Faster than the average bear.

I've learned to begin leaving at least 30 minutes
Before I want to be out the door
Because,
Good grief,
It takes forever to get three kids,
Two of which are toddlers,
Out of the house.

I've learned to skip the shoes on Little Man
Because he always just pulls them off
And I already can't find one set of a pair.

I've learned that
Little Man is adorable.
Seriously.
I LOVE opening his bedroom door in the morning
And being greeted with the widest smile
And outstretched arms.
But,
Little Man is also 14 months old.
He walks.
He grabs.
He pulls.
He bites.
He pushes.
He throws.
He pinches.
He screams.
He slaps.
He rolls around the floor.
He doesn't take NO for an answer,
   Ever.
   Not when I tell him he cannot stand on the rocking chair.
   Not when I tell him he cannot slap the TV.
   Not when I tell him he cannot bite his sisters.
   Not when I tell him he cannot empty the dirty diapers out of the trash can.
It's exhausting.
He thinks "NO" is a game of...
   I'll watch you watch me,
   And when I think you are not looking,
   I'll do it again,
   And then scream bloody murder when you move me away again.
Yeah.
Cute, but oy.


I've learned that
Tigger....
Oh, Tigger.
Love this kid.

Love her spirit.
   But,
   Struggle with her stubbornness.
        (She can seriously scream/cry for 25 minutes
         About absolutely nothing
         And then instantly turn it off when she decides she is done.)  
Love her giggle.
   But,
   Struggle with her whine.
       (Oy.  This kid had a whine of "eh, eh, eh" that makes you about crazy.)
Love the fact that she never stops talking.
    But,
    Struggle with getting her to sleep at
    Because she talks,
    And talks,
    And talks,
    And talks.
        (About EVERYTHING and NOTHING.
         I hear our names pop up into the conversation,
         And then the rest is a bunch of random language
         That she uses on me all of the time,
         That I have never heard of in my life.)
Love her energy.
    But,
    Struggle with her overall volume.
    She is SO loud.
    And I mean loud.
    She must say my name
    (Usually a form of Maryann - that's what Miz N calls me,
    But also a mixture of Mom, Mommy, Mama, and occasionally Daddy.)
    A million times a day
    And the pitch of it is right up there with a sonic boom.
       (Now imagine that voice, screaming bloody murder over something.
       So not pretty.)

I've learned that Miz N
Needs
Demands
Requires
A lot of one-on-one reassurance time
That she is special to me.
That she is loved by me.
That she matters to me.
Jealously rages it's ugly head at times over my budding attachment with the Littles.
I am careful to treat her like an 8 year old,
Even when she wants me to "do that to her", like the Littles.
    (No, I am not going to play the Itsy Bitsy Spider
    On your naked stomach
    Like I did to your brother when I changed his diaper.
    But I will scratch your back and read you a book.)
And that I have to be careful to give her the affection,
Like I do to the Littles,
But in an age-appropriate way.
And that I have to help teach her to be the big sister
   To help, to love, to play, to enjoy
And for her not to be the little mommy
   No disciplining, no yelling, no decision making for me. 

Overall,
I've learned that I have no clue what I am doing,
But I kind of love it anyway.
No,
Not kind of.
I just love it.
Even when I don't love it.
I love it.
(Doesn't make sense to me, either.)

Praise Reports -
--The kids' mom and the Littles' dad met us at Chuck e Cheese on Sunday.  It was great getting to meet them, but pray that I can begin to build a relationship with the mom, like I had/have with Miss M and Ms. O.
--One of my "roses" tonight, which Miz N thought was weird, was that Tigger only was sent to time-out three times today and that she stayed on the rug the entire time, only screamed for the two minutes, and then stopped screaming when the timer went off, and went back to playing after saying sorry.  Seriously....it's a huge praise for me.
--We went to the community pool.  We survived.  Success.  I felt like Super Woman.  (Well, until it was time to leave and Tigger wouldn't come and then screamed all the way out and all the way home.  I just was praying I didn't get pulled over.  The cop would have thought she was being tortured or something. We had the music blaring at 20+, Little Man was asleep, and Miz N was in the back with her ears blocked.)

Prayer Requests -
--I am still waiting for the official paperwork for Tigger so she is "officially" in my care, which means I officially get the daily stipend for her.  This will also allow me to sign up for WIC and get much better rates for all the milk, bread, juice, fruit, etc. that we are going through.  The kids have been eating everything I've made for them, but my grocery bill had gone up a lot.  There is no diaper subsidy any more, so the extra help for the food costs will be a huge blessing.
--I start back to work officially on the 29th and I am starting to freak out in my mind because I am not ready at all for the new school year.  It hasn't even been on my radar which is SO not like me.  I am already worried about balancing it all.  I am going to start the Littles in daycare part-time next week so we can start practicing/establishing our weekday morning routine, and I have got to get in my classroom and start setting it up and decorating it and PLANNING!

Licensed Renewed and Changed!

At 9:09 am this morning,
The renewal of my license
Was officially approved
And my license changed from
Ages 5 - 14, boys or girls
To ages 1-14, boys and girls,
Meaning
I could bring Little Man
And Tigger
Home to live with Miz N.

Woo hoo!!!

We've basically "done" a whole day
On our other transition days,
But we've never done a nighttime routine
With the three of them.
It wasn't pretty.
It wasn't smooth.
But two hours later
All three are asleep.
Little Man cried himself to sleep.
Tigger talked her self to sleep.
Miz N plugged her ears and finally feel asleep.

Then I got motivated,
Sort of.
And I finally unpacked Miz N from our Michigan trip
And I finally went through Little Man's
And Tigger's clothes
And put them away
And as I was doing that I rearranged the closets,
Again.
And then I rearranged the living room,
Again.
And made another shopping list,
Again.
And I stacked up the dishes in the sink,
Again.
And I threw all of my Michigan clothes on the floor,
Again.
And I am going to bed,
And praying
Hoping,
Wishing,
Dreaming,
That they all sleep through the night
And that I sleep.

Praise Reports:
--They are all sleeping under my roof...together.
--They all have clothes galore and could wear a different outfit every day for a month.
--We went shopping at Sam's! (Thank you, God, for carts with TWO toddler seats.) And we actually ate lunch there. It was another thing off my "try-it-out" list.

Prayer Requests:
--Wisdom of how to deal with an almost 3 year old's strong-willed defiance and need to scream.
--Wisdom of how to teach a 14 month old who is testing his free-will.
--Wisdom of how to divide the love and attention that was going to one affection-needy-words-of-affirmation-starved 8 year old while dealing with the needs of two littles in the house, who demand more attention that I could ever anticipate.

Life is not a Dress Rehearsal

All day I was thinking of the past few days
As a dress rehearsal for my new life
With three kids.
I even decided that would be the title of the blog tonight.
And then when I was searching for a graphic to go with it,
I came across this

And it struck a chord with me.
Life isn't a dress rehearsal
And these "transition" days
Are part of God's plan
Part of God's purpose
Part of "our story".

And,
Honestly.
I am kind of loving it.

Today,
I took all three to Walmart.
We got what we need.
We survived.
Woo hoo!
    Granted, you couldn't see Miss Giggles in the back of the cart by the end and
    had to carry her on my back as we went to check out.

Today,
Little Man and Miss Giggles
Both took naps in "their beds"
And slept for a substantial amount of time.
Success.

Today,
We went outside
And ran around under the new sprinkler.
Um.
Yeah.
Just REALLY glad the yard walls are high
And that my backyard backs up to a quiet street
Because it was chaos.
Miz N LOVED it.
Little Man was stupefied at first,
But then screamed blood murder when it was time to go inside.
And Miss Giggles,
The girl who LOVES water
And splashes like a CRAZY girl in the bathtub?
Well, she screamed her head off most of the time,
And then giggled like a mad woman the other part.
And me?
Well, I hadn't thought to put on my suit.
I wouldn't get "that" wet anyway.
As you can imagine,
I was soaked!
And....
Miz N was horrified because my tank top was turning orange.
She couldn't figure out why,
And I was too busy with the babes to realize why,
Until she said...
"It's coming from your hair!"
And,
Sure enough...
I had taken the opportunity of the next 36 hours of MI time
To get my hair "did"
And it's a lot more red
And I hadn't washed it yet
And,
Well,
The sprinkler water was causing it to run down
My face,
My back,
My arms,
And turning my clothes a tint of orange.
Like I said.
It was chaos,
And I am super glad my neighbors couldn't see us.

Today,
I gave baths to two toddlers,
Took a shower myself,
And got an 8 year old cleaned
And no one got hurt in the process.
  Granted, Little Man might have slipped in the tub a time or two.
  Miss Giggles might have sat on the toilet wrapped up in a towel while I took my shower.
  Miz N might have still had shampoo in her hair when she came out.
  But...we did it.

Today,
I realized that Miss Giggles probably needs to be renamed
Tigger.
The girl LOVES to jump.
And,
I kind of let them jump off the back of the couch
And on to the ottoman.
Um...
Yeah...
That's probably going to bite me in the butt at some point.

Today,
I dropped my training that I was going to take next week
Because,
I just want to be at home with the kids
And help them transition into our new life
And just live, love, and laugh with them
Until I HAVE to go back to work.

Today,
I found out that these three kids LOVE ravioli.
Like crazy.
Good thing I picked up all the 10 for $10 cans
At Fry's yesterday
On blind faith of Miz N's claim of such love.

Today,
I found out that my license
HOPEFULLY
Will be renewed tomorrow
And then Little Man
And Tigger
Will be "home".

Dress Rehearsal
Transition Time
This week has been
Good.
Surreal.
Overwhelming.
Okay.

I am crazy blessed by these three kiddos in many ways,
And,

I laugh.
   A lot.  More than I have in years.
I chase.
   Around in circles.
I kiss.
   Cheeks, bellies, boo-boos, and noses.
I change diapers.
   Okay, not so fun.
I cuddle.
   Usually starts with one and ends up with three before I can get up.
I say NO.
   Come on.  I've got a 14 month old and almost 3 year old running around.
I trip over little people.
   Little Man is always under foot and I am NOT used to it.
I wipe the table and sweep the floor.
   Like a million times a day it seems.
I search the house for drinking cups.
   They love to walk away with them and then we can't find where they end up.
I sing and dance.
    We love praise and worship music and can jam!
I love.
   I don't know how long I will get to love them in person, but I will always love them in my heart.

I know there will be many days ahead
When all three are sleeping in "their" beds
That I will want to pull out my hair
And probably cry myself to sleep
But
I know God is in control
And He is my strength
And He has allowed me to love on these precious kiddos
For now in person,
And forever in my heart,
And I am humbled by the calling,
And by being used this way.

Praise Reports:
--Miz N. - her questions, her help, her independence, her desire to be loved
--Tigger.  (aka Miss Giggles.) - her spirit, her loudness, her mimicking ways
--Little Man. - his smiles, his pudgy hands, his funny walk (and the fact that he can walk!)

Prayer Requests:
--Please pray that my license is finalized by the last two OLCR people tomorrow morning and we can transition Little Man and Tigger into our 24-7 life.
--Please pray for the husband of the family that is caring for Little Man.  He is battling cancer and has hit a very rough spot.

Michigan in Photos

Lots of things to process
About Miz N
About learning how to best process with her
Best distract her
Best provide for her
Best love her, yet teach her.
I am sometimes feeling like we aren't getting too far,
But then I have to remember,
It's only been three weeks as of Monday.
Weird how it feels like forever in some ways.

Also,
Lots of funny stories
About Miz N
About her obsession with Grandma's bird book
About she and the Bug's imaginary game called "Puppies in the Bible"
But
Leaving tomorrow morning
Early
And just want to share some pictures
And save the writing
And the processing
For later.
 

The actual 4th of July here was low key.  The girls were downstairs for the majority of the day using their imaginations.  Here are the fairies putting a spell on my while I am taking the picture.

We did get out some sparklers and lanterns on the 4th....which proceeded in the brother in law and myself burning our thumbs on the stupid sparklers.  I hate fire.  It hates me. 

Man.  That sucker hurt!  And three days later it still hurts!  Oh, the things I will do for the kids that I love.

On the 5th, I took the girls to Delta Community College to swim.  It hasn't been warm enough here to get Gma and Gpa's pool up to any temperature worth plugging in for.  Miz N loved the slide and went down probably 20 times.  (Each time squealing with delight.  The bug decided to try out the diving board for the first time and loved it.  She even learned to dive off from the side with a little help from her favorite Arizona aunt!) 

Then the Ramseyer family all met over at Dale and Mary's for dinner.  We captured this fun picture of my cousin's two kids and the Bug and Miz N.  Gibby was such a sport to let the girls do this to him!  :-)

I love this picture in front of the wheat.

For the first time in we don't know how long, all of the great grand children of Earl and Mary Ramseyer were in one place.  I had to include this picture. My grandma would have LOVED to see them all together in one place.

Saturday was girls' pedicures and Despicable Me 2.  Both were greatly enjoyed by us mall. Miz N thinks her toes "look like they were born to be this color."

Bay City's HUGE firework show is always on the Saturday following the 4th...weird, but worth the wait.  My parents had about 45 family and friends at the house and then we all headed down to the riverside.  Here are the girls getting their glow sticks ready as the sun was finally setting.

 

All decked out and ready to glow!

Well done, Bay City.  Well done.

Praise Reports:
- While we were away the landscape got all removed, the house got sprayed for bugs, my cleaning lady came and cleaned up the place, and the breaker box was replaced.  Thank you, God!
- We got to come to Bay City and see most of my Michigan family and a lot of friends.  So blessed and spoiled by them all and spending time with them.

Prayer Requests:
- No license renewal yet.  Little Man was having some breathing issues and they had to get him back on his breathing machine and meds.  Miss Giggles is doing great in her new placement, but I am getting concerned about them both attaching so much in their new places (GREAT FAMILIES!) and that another move is going to be hard.  I have a lot of doubts keeping me up at night about my lack of parenting skills in general, but specifically for these little ones. I would covet your continued prayers for me, Miz N, Miss Giggles, and Little Man.

At Home...in Michigan

Pleasure.
Joy.
Comfort.
     Signs of being home,
     With my family,
     With my foster daughter in tow.

Sunday involved
Perfect flights.
Perfect kid.
(Albeit she did complain at the end of the first, long leg that she didn't know why people talked about how cool it is to fly because it was the most boring thing she ever did in her life.)
And then a welcome to Bay City trip to Mama Lupos ice cream shop.
(Cookies and cream, thank you very much.)

Miz N and my niece,
Bug,
Fit together perfectly.
Imagination
Laughter
Farts
Burps
Cuddling
Joke-telling.
Failure to go to sleep at night.

My best friend
From high school
Came up from Kalamazoo
With her three amazing kiddos
To spend Monday and Tuesday with us.
So blessed.
So right.
I love how we just fall into conversation
Even though
We NEVER
Talk
Text
Email
Chat.

Saginaw Children's Zoo on Monday.
Perfect day.
Perfect weather.
Nearly everyone I love more than words with us.
And Emily treated all the kids to a little stuff memento.
(Miz N now drags a pink penguin named Allison Flipper everywhere we go.)

Pizza lunch
And State Park on Tuesday.
Perfect weather.
Sand between the toes.
Sea-shell collecting.
(Okay, the Bay sludge is beyond disgusting...but otherwise...)
(Oh...and the mosquitos the size of horses are a little much.)

Miz N is having the time of her life,
While still keeping her every pessimistic viewpoint
Right at the forefront.

   Q:  How was State Park?
   A:  Horrible.  I got bit by mosquitos.

   Q:  How was the zoo?
   A:  I hated it.  I didn't get to see the penguins swim.

   Q:  How was your ice cream?
   A:  Gross.  There were flies.

So, my family
And I
Are learning
And helping her
Focus on the positives
Focus on the good
Focus on the blessings.

   Rephrase:  Tell me two great things about State Park.
   Answer:  Collecting sea shells and walking in the sand.

  Rephrase:  What were two cool things about the zoo?
  Answer:  The kangaroos and digging for fossils.

  Rephrase:  What kind of ice cream did you get?
  Answer:  Double chocolate on a cone.  I was a mess.

Here are some pictures from the first few days.  I wish I didn't have to block out Miz N's smiling, dimpled face for you all...but privacy is key for her sake, my sake, and her mother's sake.

The girls at the zoo. The lone boy was running off ahead somewhere.  :-)

Grandma with the two soon to be 4th graders riding the train at the zoo.  Two first-borns who look just like their daddies.

An amazing mommy and life-long friend with the funniest 5 year old around waiting for the train to take off!

Miz N and a cow.  Did you notice the cow is also smiling?

Cousins!

The girls waiting for the carousel ride!  I think our lone boy was already loading on to a dragon he had spotted.

Waiting for the train to cross at the zoo!

Captured this picture as they were going down into an exhibit.  Two almost fourth graders and two almost second graders.  Fun times.  Little Natalie cried when they left concerned that she might never get to see Miz N again.  Breaks my heart and melts it at the same time.

Hiking out to the beach at State Park.  (But...had to stay out of the water!  Nasty!)

The girls looking over the covered bridge in Frankenmuth.  Miz N loves all the water and bridges around here.

Me and my girl.

Miz N got a chance to try out the rain boots and umbrella when we got a little rain tonight.  She was trilled.

 
Praise Reports:
--Flights were SO perfect.  So grateful for the smooth lines, procedures, and rides.
--Miz N is welcomed as family at home.  I always know she is and will be, but it's still so amazing to watch them all love on her and just take the calling on my life to love on these kids as part of their own.
--Thanks to friends for recommendations for a bug guy, electrician, and landscaping guy.  Electrician replaced two bad breakers on Tuesday, new bug guys came out today, and the landscaper comes out on Friday!  Whew!  Thank you!

Prayer Requests:
--Still no news, no word, no advancement on my license renewal.
--Missing Little Man and Miss Giggles more than I could have imagined and they don't even officially live with me yet!