It hasn't ever been.
I was the kid who if I had a dollar
I had to spend a dollar.
I would babysit and then spend it.
On little things.
Random things.
Temporary things.
My sister, on the other hand, horded her money.
Never could figure out why.
How.
We won't even start talking about the credit card I got when I started college.
Sigh.
Anyway -
I have always said that I want to be sure to instill in my children money management techniques.
Early on.
Miss M can earn up to $3 a week for allowance.
We are working on concepts of spending, saving, and sharing (aka giving)
10% giving.
And about 50% spending
And 40% saving.
I do know there are great programs out there,
But we are just doing it our way to start.The math gets a little too confusing for me when working with just $3ish dollars a week.
I'm still working on how to separate it each week without having to give her a bunch of change.
We're in the learning process.
Anyway -
Saturday night is Girls' Night Out.
Dinner out.
Allowance passed out.
After Miss M counted up her money tonight
After 3 weeks of allowance earning
She had $9.50.
(She got an extra dollar in the mail from my mom.)
After dinner, we stopped quick into Ross.
I told her I needed to look for a dress for myself in a different size.
But...actually....
I had been there earlier in the day during her visit and scoped out some reasonably priced toys.
I didn't say a word to her
But we eventually made it to the toys.
Her eyes lit up.
She started dreaming.
After a few moments she put two and two together that she could spend her OWN money.
The deliberation was intense.
Some items had to be reconsidered due to the guidelines of sharing, spending, and saving.
Then the choices were narrowed to three.
This was the final choice.
Miss M set up the plan.
I would stand in line first.
She would stand behind me.
I would pay for my dress with my money,
And then pull of to the side.
When the cashier said, "NEXT"
Then Miss M would step up
And pay for HER item with HER money.
I think she repeated the plan to me at least 4 times.
It went all exactly as planned.
(I had warned her about the "tax" and predicted she'd probably need to have $5.50 ready to pay.)
The total was $5.43.
She got out her five dollar bills.
She picked her two quarters off the ground after they fell out of her cat purse.
She waited for her change.
She was beaming.
She said she wanted her receipt in the bag.
She took her bag.
She said thank you.
(I loved that the cashier was smiling with wisdom the entire time, but was perceptive and treated her like a full-fledged customer the entire time.)
Then she ran over to me and said,
"That was SO cool!"
"I feel just like an adult!"
"I've never paid for anything with my own money before!"
Miss M literally bounced to the car.
She didn't stop -
Smiling at her bag
Talking about her experience
Reviewing her choices
Comparing herself to the girl in Tangled again
(Best Day Ever!!!)
Making plans for how to play with them when she got home
Recounting her left over money
- All the way home.
Praise Report:
*Miss M had a good visit with her mom and had a good transitional time with me following the visit as well.
Prayer Request:
-I'm not sure how to help Miss M make true, healthy, authentic attachments. It's a huge issue and effects us everyday, everywhere. Today she met a girl while playing at McDonald's during her mom visit. She came home and told me she made a new best friend. She was at church tonight. A girl showed up wearing a shirt that she has. She said that that girl is her new best friend. I asked her what they talked about, what her name was, she said "Well, she's my best friend because I have the same shirt and we sat by each other." She wanted to invite the young lady I rear-ended yesterday over for dinner after we exchanged information. Thursday night at dinner I saw an administrator from another school with his two kids, we said hi to each other, and then Miss M sulked for almost five minutes when I told her no, we were not inviting them to sit with us and no she could not have the little girl over for a play date. I don't know what to say to her in these situations. I know she is begging for a place to belong - but I don't know how to help her develop those in a healthy, strong, normal way.
3 comments:
As a father with a daughter who will someday be in the same shoes as Miss M, I would recommend she starts a sport or activity. I realize this will be a large challenge for you with practice and games, but I know the best friends I had in grade school all played soccer with me. I think she needs to find a sport or activity (swimming or volunteer, maybe) to fill her time.
Oh, her days are filled. Believe me. School all day, followed by after school care where she has exposure to the same kids every day, and then we have dinner, homework, bed routines, and bed. I am get her into ballet in a month or two, but it is recommended to usually not get them into too much too fast because of the many transitions already. I'm thinking church, school, after school club, my family, and me are more than enough changes and opportunities to form some healthy attachments. It's her wanting to make attachments to complete strangers in random places that has me really worried.
I think you should pick someone you are comfortable to have over for a playdate. A lot of my kids first playdates were because of my friends. So ask one of your friends with kids to come over to play. It is probally important for her to be able to have a friend at her house. Keep reminding her about safe friends. Maybe use the program your friend made.
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