Tonight was Miss M's Meet the Teacher night at her school. For the first time, I was there as a parent/guardian. I walked into someone else's classroom and looked for my child's desk, followed the planned activities, filled out the paperwork, wondered what her days will be like, questioned who her friends will be, debated if to step in when she didn't follow the directions on the coloring activity, and tried to figure out what to share with the teacher about how she may, or may not, behave.
This is weird.
I sort of feel like I am walking in someone else's shoes. Between the moving from a teacher to an administrative position, and moving from elementary school to middle school, and becoming a first time foster parent all in one week, I feel like I am acting in some kind of new role or play and it's not totally real life.
Or at not MY life.
I mean, I love it - all of it - and it is my new normal that I have prayed for, dreamed for, planned for, prepared for...
And I don't want to trade it
Or go back to the way it was.
I know this is the Lord's will - all the way around...
...But it seems surreal and for some reason I keep thinking someone is just going to come and say "whoops - we screwed up" and take it all away.
On that note...last night I had a dream that I was teaching Miss M how to drive (she was still 8 in the dream) and I was making her drive me all around town like my chauffeur or something. Then she went to visit her caseworker and told on me and they took her away.
Miss M update -
This blog ended up being really a "me" focused blog - but, in Miss M's words - she had a "great" day. We ended up playing roses and thorns while she was eating her bedtime snack and she couldn't think of any thorns about her day which she thought was pretty cool. (I didn't remind her about the looming dental appointment...I wanted her to go to sleep!)
It's funny to listen to her and watch her in situations where she is interacting. I learn so much about her every time. Meet the teacher was especially telling - she loved her teacher and was polite, energetic while in her classroom. She started off by my side and kept warming up and venturing further away and eventually just did her thing without coming back with updates. Then there was the myriad of emotions and reactions of shyness, cockiness, embarrassment, and showing off when meeting my former students, parents, co-teachers, etc. I on purposed didn't get there until an hour into the event and with only a 1/2 hour left because I knew that I would run into lots of people I knew and thus starts a lot of introductions, questions, etc. She's usually good with it, but I didn't want to find her breaking point either.
I keep holding my breath...waiting and wondering when the "honeymoon" will be over or we have our first big conflict. It's bound to happen. How could it not?
Prayer Request -
Please pray around 12:30 (AZ time) Friday morning (3:30 pm for my
Michigan peeps). Miss M has a dental appointment and is not okay with
it. She "hates" the dentist "because it always" hurts. I'm going to
work in the morning, run and grab her some McD's (the bribe before the
appointment) and then try to squeeze in a bribe afterwards before having
to take her back to daycare for the rest of the afternoon. Pray that
she loves the hygienist and dentist and it's a good report!
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