The maroon is today's follow up.
*************************************************************************
[It was] One of those days where every step I took felt like two steps back
What a difference a day makes
What a difference prayer makes.
With my boss
(The learning curve is huge in this new job)
Today the Lord provided an unexpected time to sit down and actually talk. Really talk. Feeling better. Feeling validated. Feeling supported. Feeling heard. Praising God. I do love my new job. I don't miss the classroom near as much as I thought I would and despite it being new, the different responsibilities and expectations of the job have truly been a God-send with the new foster care portion of my life.
With my co-workers
(I'm sick of asking questions that have simple, easy answers)
After my talk today, I realize asking these questions is okay, expected, and actually appreciated. I was told that it is normal. It is where they all started. I was told to give myself grace.
With my self-talk
(My worst enemy - my thorn)
Two parts to this one - the big one is down in the praise report section at the bottom.
I also spent some time alone today. My all day meeting got out an hour before I expected it too and I decided to take myself to Native New Yorker and watch the Tigers sweep the Yankees, enjoy a diet coke, some chicken wings, and just some time alone. It was good. My head was relatively quiet. I knew the girls were safe, happy, and content at after school care. I knew I had to take advantage of a rare day with no meetings, no appointments, no to-do list after school, and praise God for that unexpected gift of time.
With my colleagues
(I can't seem to help them like I want to)
I got some good advice today. I realized I was trying to build relationships by actually stepping in and rescuing them when what I need to be doing is listening, supporting, and empowering. I am experienced with talking with kids, with helping kids solve problems, with helping kids resolve conflicts - it is different with adults. I need to observe, listen, watch, develop language, develop tools, be patience with myself.
With the CPS caseworker
(GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!)
With the girls' mom
(First time a conversation felt uncomfortable)
I talked with the parent aide and she vented and I vented about the CPS caseworker. I realized that my miscommunication/uncomfortable conversation with the girls' mom was because of the wrong message relayed from the CPS caseworker to her about Christmas plans. While it probably wasn't productive, it was so reassuring and satisfying to have her share the same frustrations, find out who she is dealing with these issues, and making sure we are on the same page with the girls and starting to talk about ways to do more shared parenting/co-parenting with the girls' mom. Honestly, my experience with the mom and the girls has been about as desirable as any trainer, book, or professional would want - with the expectation of the caseworker. But, us all being on the same page, us communicating on our own, and us focusing on the kids, the mom, and helping them grow, bond, and reunite and eventually reunify is what this is all about!
*************************************************************************
Praise Reports:
The devil has been tempting me/making me question/bothering me ever since Miss M accepted the Lord in her heart because as I was pondering it, rejoicing in it, I couldn't remember her saying those words "I ask you to live in my heart" or "I accept you in my heart." It's not that there is any prescribed words that needed to be said, but those were the exact words that the devil was prickling me with. Last night, when my licensing agency worker came to visit, Miss M walked right up to her and said "I wanted to tell you that last night I accepted the Lord in my heart and now I am going to live in heaven one day." Out of the mouths of a child came the Holy Spirit's words calming me, reassuring me, testifying her faith, her commitment, her peace. Words CANNOT express! Then tonight we read the story of Nicodemus coming to visit Jesus in the night. As soon as she heard the story she immediately connected it with her own God-appointed choice to be His child. I am in awe of His work, of His provisions, of His care, of His testimony in my life and consistently showing up and reaffirming things to me when I start to doubt.
Prayer Requests:
Next Tuesday is the CFT for Ms. O and Miss M. There is a lot of tension with the caseworker right now. Please pray for a meeting where we can focus on the girls' needs and actually get the ball moving. In addition, none of the DES childcare paperwork has come through officially yet. Since the childcare is through where I work, they are making a HUGE exception for me. Please pray that paperwork is finalized, submitted, and accepted ASAP.
No comments:
Post a Comment