Just because I love her doesn't mean I like her behavior right now.

In order to keep the name of the guilty child at bay
I will attempt to not give too many details
(Ha!  Who am I kidding?!?)

It started with a bike.
Two weekends ago we went and looked at two Craig's list bikes
I found a bike for one girl
But the other one we tried was too boyish
And the handle bars were weird
So the second bike hunt continued

A friend said she had a bike we could have for free
We took it home
But it turned out to be way to big for her
The bike hunt continued

Found another bike on Craig's List on Sunday
Called and set up a time to go see it today
The girls were excited
A bike ride was prayed for this morning

On the way I mentioned that it was a girl bike
And that if it worked,
I wasn't worried about the colors
Since I would have other girls who would ride it later

Then the girl without a bike
Got an attitude
A big attitude
"What if I don't like the bike"
"What if the bike is too girly"
What if there is a boy bike there I like better"

"If it works
If it looks good
If it has two wheels to get us around the canal trails
It will be fine."

We got out
The bike was in the driveway
Perfect size
Great condition
One of the colors  in the color combination even happened to have the
FAVORITE color of this girl

But the attitude GREW
-Basically acted like she couldn't even ride the bike
I called her out on it
Didn't change a bit
Thought about not buying it
Told her she could run along the side of the other two of us
While we rode
If she was going to have an attitude
Didn't change still
Grumpier, indeed

Bought the bike
Good price
Wanted one
Other foster-loves to come someday

The guilty child began to
Sulk
Mope
Cross her arms
Not engage in any communication all the ride home

The other sister attempted
And finally gave up
In engaging her in conversation
I was steaming
I turned on the radio
Full blast
To attempt to drown out the silence
All the while thinking
Don't blow up
Don't say something you'll regret

Got home
Walking in the house with a shuffle
Arms still crossed
Got the bike in the house
Still not communicating with us

I go in my room to change
Still mad
And getting madder
I end up closing myself in there for 20 minutes
(Never done that before
Poor other sister)
Hoping some time apart will help
Will heal
Will motivate for change

Nope

Same defiant face
Same defiant attitude
Same crossed arms

Trying to hum my praise song to myself
Trying to remember what I had just been on my knees turning over to the Lord
Not working
Not working
Not working

The other child came in to talk and help me with dinner
The guilty one sulked on the couch
The other child attempted to tell jokes at dinner
The guilty one basically ignored her
I couldn't even eat at the table with them
My stomach was in knots

How far to push this?
How long to let it go?
How to handle this?

The other child wanted to watch TV
But I said no
Because I didn't want the guilty one to enjoy it!
Dolls were played with by one
While the guilty one and I worked on homework together
After I told her she needed to sit by me and request my help
More attitude
More mumbling
More sulking

Enough is enough
The talk came
And then the threat
"If this poor attitude and disrespectful behavior continues
There will be no trick or treating"

Not an empty threat by any means
But probably not effective either.
Not measurable by any means
Not goal oriented
Sigh
Who cares

Even when we went through the allowance chart and
No money was earned for
Treating others at home with love/kindness/respect
Being obedient
Being forgiving
Or for
Positive attitude
Speaking with kindness and respect
Cooperating
Nothing changed

No apologies
No remorse
No taking responsibility

Roses and thorns were awkward tonight
When one was having attitude issues
And MY THORN WAS HER ATTITUDE!
The one child was sent to the bed to read after prayers
And the other had a private talk with me

We don't go to bed
Mad
Angry
Annoyed
Or without saying sorry

This child is strong willed
Her response time challenged my wait time
But I am strong willed as well
Because 
I am teaching her how to apologize
I am teaching her how to be humble
I am teaching her to choose joy

Well, I am trying.

This guilty child gets annoyed when her sister
Misbehaves
Cries
Makes poor choices
But
Like I said to her tonight
At least she gets over it within 10-15 minutes
TOP
The guilty child's attitude went on for 3 hours
Yes - THREE HOURS!
And honestly
Wasn't sounding or looking any better
Even after the apologies
And talks.

So

They sleep

And I blog

And I eat a bowl off too much of this

 With too many of these on top

 Because I can't leave the house and get one of these.

Prayer Requests:
Attempting to step in and help raise, mold, influence, and keep accountable two very different young ladies is amazingly hard and challenging.

Praise Reports:
Attempting to step in and help raise, mold, influence, and keep accountable two very different young ladies is amazingly wonderful because of my God, my support team, and my prayer warriors.