Two sides of every coin..or visit

Miz N gets to visit with her mom
Two visits each week
For two hours each

It's wonderful on one hand
And it's wonderfully awful on the other hand.

Imagine it.
Living with a total stranger.
Being picked up by a case aide
Traveling 1 hour to pick up your siblings
Then another 30 minutes back to the visit location
Seeing your mom
The woman who has been your life
For 8 years
Good, bad, and ugly
And you see her,
Hug her
Talk with her
Bond with her
Love her
The woman who knows everything about you
Good, bad, and ugly
For two hours
Twice a week
And then a car takes you back to the stranger.
And you wait for another three or five days
And you do it again
And you don't know exactly why it's happened
Besides some judge said you can't be with her
And you don't have any idea of how long it will be for
Besides "a while" and you have no concept of time
And you

How can behaviors NOT be an issue?
How can emotions NOT be high?
How can a little girl NOT be able to fall asleep
Because she misses her mom?

I can soothe
I can listen
I can pray
I can share God's promises
But I am not a heart fixer
I am not a hurt fixer

I know I don't have to be
I know I can't be
But it's hard to watch the emotions
And not have "any good" answers to help soothe.

However,
I can pinky promise
An eight year old
That I won't be a stranger forever
And that I love her mom
And that I love her
And that I will be here for her until
Her mom is ready and strong enough to care for her again.

And I can play worship music over her
As she tries to fall asleep
And I can cry tears of pain for her
As she tries to hold them back
And I can pray over her
As she finally falls to sleep



Praise Reports:
-Miz N has an amazing CPS case manager. Within 24 hours of Miz N moving in with me, she rearranged the transportation and made sure Miz N was able to visit with her mom.
-I wrote Miz N's mom a note introducing myself and explaining the transition and the plans to bring Miss A and Baby B to live with us in the next month or so.  She wrote a sweet note and desires to meet me as well.

Prayer Requests:
-Miz N has her required dental and medical check-up appointments (I have to schedule these appointments within 7 days of her moving into my care) and, as expected, is a little nervous.
-Miz N's continual settling into life with me - especially a nighttime routine and getting settled into bed, staying there, and sleeping through the night.