Since I first heard about Miz N
And I brought her into my home last Monday
Was to eventually bring her
14 mo old brother and 2 year old sister
To come and live with us.
Honestly.
That makes me excited
And
Want to throw up at the same time.
I love babies.
I love kids.
Always have.
But...
Little ones living with me?
I'm used to kids who are
Independent
Potty-trained
Speak in full sentences
Sleep at night.
I've been going back and forth
The past week
Trying to figure out the Lord's will
About bringing Baby B and Miss A to live with us.
Is it right?
For me?
For Miz N?
For them?
Could I do it?
Just me?
I wasn't sure
And I was asking the Lord to show me,
Clearly.
And then today....
Well, He was talking.
He was opening doors.
I'm still not totally sure
What is going on
Or when
But, He is moving
And now I am praying He will
MOVE A MOUNTAIN!
Yellow Light = Warning: Breaking News Coming Your Way
Miz N's amazing CPS caseworker
(I still pinch myself on that truth!)
Called
Baby B and Miss A need a new home.
They are currently in essentially an state infant crisis center
(From every account, so sad, so heartbreaking)
She knows we are leaving for Michigan on Sunday
But could I maybe take Baby B?
Miss A can temporarily go to the home she was in from
April to November
But she needs a place for Baby B.
No pressure,
She understands if I say no.
But, what do I think?
Red Light = Stop: Bad Timing, No Baby Stuff
But I can't.
I have nothing for a baby.
14 months.
No anything for that age.
Nada.
Money is tight.
Not the right time.
Leaving for Michigan in 6 days.
Let's stick to the original plan.
I'll be praying God finds Baby B
A great home until that time.
She tells me she understands.
She'll figure something out.
I hang up.
And then my mind starts whirling.
Yellow Light = Warning: God's at Work...Watch Out!
I start to pray.
I call my Team Melody friend
For reassurance I was right to say no.
She agrees, but also says
"What would you do when flying to Michigan?
Have him ride on your lap?"
Then the brain starts going more.
Yes.
I could do that.
But,
What about all the stuff?
And what about the lack of funds for the stuff?
Okay, God....
I'll put the call out there on Facebook.
To my support groups and
To my friends.
And I'll see what you can do
And IF you open the doors
And IF you provide the stuff
Then I will call CPS back
And say yes.
Green Light = Go!: God WILL Provide!
Within minutes,
Messages ping back.
Within 30 minutes
I have confirmation of
EVERYTHING I need to open my home
To a 14 month old.
The crib.
The stroller.
The high chair.
The clothes.
A few toys.
The car seat.
Within 45 minutes,
I am out the door
Going to pick up the stuff from new friends.
Call CPS
Tell them YES!
Let's do this.
By the grace of God -
Let's do this.
On the way back home
From my donation pick-ups
CPS calls.
They are on their way with Baby B.
Am I ready?
Um,
Yeah.
I guess I am.
Or ready as I can be with three hours notice.
Yellow Light = Warning: A Bump is Ahead
On the way home
My licensing agent calls again
She suddenly remembers about my licensing parameters.
Renewal of my license
Is in process.
But my current license is for two,
But it states it is for ages 5-14
And only girls or boys
Not both.
The new license is for 3.
Ages 0-18.
Boys and girls.
But it hasn't been approved yet.
Just submitted last week.
Usually takes one month.
But...
Should be able to take
Baby B as an non-relative,
Non-licensed placement
And just wouldn't get regular placement pay
Until licensed changed.
Okay.
Will be hard to swing.
But,
Okay.
A bump.
An inconvenient one
But a workable one.
Red Light = STOP!: Heartbreak
Literally,
As CPS pulls up in the driveway
With Baby B in tow
My licensing agency calls again
I cannot take Baby B.
I cannot have one placement in the system under my license
And one not under it.
It's not possible.
Not today.
There he was.
In my house.
Sleeping so peacefully.
So precious.
So sweet.
So cute.
And my heart is breaking.
Now what, Lord?
Now what?
We can't send him back to that center.
We won't. (If we can help it.)
We can't keep him here.
We would, but the state says no.
Now what, Lord?
Yellow Light = Warning: God Isn't Saying No, But Not Today
My licensing agent
Finds a family
Willing to take Baby B
For 10 days
So he doesn't have to go back to the other place.
Praise God.
Baby B woke up
And I got to put my charms on him
And I was head over heels in love
With the little man who looks just like my Miz N.
Got to hold him.
Got to love on him.
Got to tickle him.
Got to toss him up and make him giggle.
It tore out a bit of my heart to have him here
To have him in my arms
And to have the brakes put on
So quickly
So abruptly
After so many doors flying open
In such a short amount of time.
But,
So glad the Lord had another loving home
Available
Willing
To take him in,
Until I can.
Trying to trust.
Trying to wait.
Praise Reports:
-Miz N was at church day camp all day today so she didn't experience all the craziness and open and shutting doors.
Prayer Requests:
-That the licensing section of DES will receive my renewal paperwork and hear personally the unqiue situation and push through my renewal quickly. It usually takes around a month, but I have a friend who was in a similar "emergency" situation and they were approved for the change in 12 hours! Praying for that same miracle and that I can bring Baby B with us to Michigan and then Miss A can move in with us once we return.
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