Every CFT I have the same "discussion" with the a certain someone on the team.
No, I cannot have a meeting at 10 am in the morning.
No, I cannot transfer the kids to therapy 35+ miles away after they get out of school.
No, I cannot.
In my world-
My public education world
In my world-
My single-foster-mother world,
I cannot just leave for a meeting during the middle of the day
(Do you remember that I live over 20 miles away from where you have me come for meetings?)
I cannot just take off a few hours and then flex my time
(Do you remember me telling you that I work until 4:30 and I cannot leave earlier?)
I cannot just change plans at the 12th hour and be told not to bring the kids
(Do you remember it's just me?)
It is so frustrating to talk
And never be heard.
Or to talk
And pretend to be heard.
6 months now with this person
And we are still having the same conversations,
Same dialogues.
Services too far away.
Concerns with a 9 and 10 year old being transported by taxi over 35 miles without an adult.
Who is the GAL?
When is the next court date?
And to her
Each time
She acts like it is the first time she's heard of it.
There is never a pen present or a single note written down.
Appointments are set on a kitchen wall calendar covered in pencil.
There is always a list of things for me to do
To follow up with HER
When I leave.
And I know if I don't
It won't happen.
Now if it were for me -
I'd say screw it.
But these things are for the girls!
I'm frustrated.
I'm annoyed.
I'm mad.
Yes, I know funds are almost non-existent.
(I am in public education - I get that better than most.)
Yes, I know caseloads are overwhelming.
(I am in public education - I feel your pain - try teaching 32+ 10 year olds.)
Yes, I know the pay is crap.
(I am in public education - enough said.)
But does that mean you don't have to
Follow through?
Take notes?
Make contacts?
Check in?
Make home visits?
Tell the truth?
Care?
AND
Further more...
STOP promising the girls things like
"You'll get to go home to Mommy very soon."
What the hell is "very soon?"
I don't even know and I'm 36.
"Very soon" to a 9 and 10 year old meant Christmas last month,
(Well, because that's what you told them!)
Now it means their mom's birthday in January this month.
(Which is completely unrealistic! And I pointed it out right there!
Good grief - she's gone for the next two weeks!)
"Very soon" isn't an answer,
And it isn't something you should be promising kids
When the "very soon" is dependent on
Finding another job
Keeping the job
Finding an apartment
Visit supervision and lengths changing
And the court hearings.
I want it to be "very soon"
For the girls sake.
I truly do.
But don't say that kind of things to kids
When you can't give them milestones
Steps
Reassurances.
Oh, and ONE MORE THING
Don't sit there and try to tell the therapy services provider that YOU know what kind of therapy the girls need and what their behavioral/emotional/social issues are and that you are insisting that they get these services as quickly as possible when a) you have talked with them less than 4 times each in the 9 months in care, b) your perception of them is what was told to you when you took over their case, c) you've sat there at every meeting since August (when CFTs should have started in May!) and said you would check into changing service providers when concerns about distance, wait lists, and transportation were brought up then and YOU NEVER DID!
Praise Report - (Yes...I do have several today in actuality!)
A wonderful blessing of the CFT today was just being there with the girls, their mom, and the parent aide. The three of us are TOTALLY on the same page, which is a true God-send. In addition, I have been telling the girls' mom that I wanted to make every effort to come to the next court date. Today I found out that the next court date is January 3rd. This is an AMAZING blessing because I don't go back to work until the 7th and I had already signed up the girls for a few days of Winter Break Kids' Club and that was one of the days! I love how the Lord is leading the way for me to be able to attend, yet be able to save my precious and few sick days/personal days for those true reasons.
Prayer Requests -
Please pray that the girls continue to be open with me about asking about the reunification process with their mom. I truly don't have any answers yet I want to be honest and open with them and allow them to talk through the confusing process and fuzzy timeline.
3 comments:
Amen! Oh my friend, you bless me and so many. So thankful to be following in your footsteps as I will be starting my first CFT meetings soon. I will be armed & ready with action plans!
Time to go to the supervisor! This behavior can't be excused by a big caseload, and supervisors want to know these things about their case managers. Seriously, this behavior is ridiculous, the supervisor should know.
Thanks for understanding my frustration, all. Britni - I know you are in this field and have seen the good, bad, and the ugly. Back in October when Ms. O came, there was a big issue with daycare provision and at that time the supervisor was contacted by my licensing agency which resulted in a conference call between me, the supervisor, and this person. That entailed this person lying on the phone and blaming me and the supervisor passing it on as a "miscommunication" and my other concerns weren't addressed. I am going to "put up with it" for now, for the girls and their mom's sake - but I will be sitting down with the supervisor and the supervisor's supervisor when they are reunited with their mom in order to make sure this is documented and changed. Call me Foster Mama Bear.
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