The Strong-Willed Child - She's Living in My House

 I ordered this book tonight


Because I am
At
My
Wit's
End.

The 10 year old
Ms. O
Is
Stubborn
Defiant
And
Disrespectful

(Yes...she's also fun-loving, cute, helpful, kind, funny, sweet, smart, creative, etc. - but that is not what this post is about and I have to get this prayer request and search for wisdom and advice out there!)

We've had
Silence Stand-Offs
Here
That have lasted 4 - 5 hours at a time.
Won't talk.
Crosses arms.
Can't humor.
Can't talk out of it.
Can't process.
Nothing.

It happens when she thinks something is too hard
Or it is something she didn't want to do
Or it is something that she didn't get her way on.

Homework used to be the big issue
But after one night of her spending over 2 hours
Yes, 2
On four short answer questions
And me refusing to give in to her
The next night she came home
And finished the last four of the
Short answer problems
In 15 minutes.
Yes, 15.
On her own.
Without help.
Without issue.
And that's when I knew.
It was a choice.
A game.
A defiance issue.

Things have been better at the house
Lately
For the most part.

But now
She's started it at school.

Tuesday -
Refused to play the math game with her group
Then refused to help in her science group
With an experiment.
Sent to time-out/refocus in the hallway.
Teacher kept her in the classroom during
Lunch
To process
To talk
To figure out what was up.
Ms. O
NEVER
SAID
ONE
WORD.
Not one.
She just stood there.
Arms crossed.
Refusing to speak.
Refusing to answer.
Refusing.
The teacher actually pulled out her lunch
And started eating it
Waiting for her to talk.
Nothing.

(When we talked at home -
She said she got upset in music
Because playing the xylophone was hard.)
Seriously?

Today -
Ms. O had a 7 question
End of the novel test.
She turned it in within minutes of getting it.
Minimal writing done.
The teacher handed it back.
Told her to expand on her answers
Otherwise would fail.
Ms. O then sat there
At her desk
With her arms crossed
For over 45 minutes.

(When we talked at home -
She said she wrote all she knew.
I asked her if she opened the novel
To help expand
And she said she didn't feel like it.)
Seriously????

I don't know what to do.
She didn't get to watch 30 minute of TV like her sister.
She folded laundry.
She helped set up for dinner.
She didn't get to put her photos in the photo book like Miss M did.
We talked.
(Oh, heck.
I talked.)
We talked about defiance.
We talked about disrespect.
We talked about disobedience.
We talked about choices.
We talked about positive consequences.
We talked about negative consequences.
We read Philippians 4:13.
We highlighted it.

I racked my brain for a good Bible story to teach a lesson.
I came up dry.
I racked my brain for a logical consequence.
I came up dry.
I racked my brain.
I came up dry.

I need prayers.
For wisdom.
For understanding.
For steps.

I know it's the holidays
But
Still
Defiance like that?
Disrespect like that?
Not okay.

I know reunification is closer
I know their mom is bringing it up consistently
I know we don't know the timeline for sure
But
Still
Defiance like that?
Disrespect like that?
Not okay.

I know part of my reaction is
Embarrassment
I am a teacher
I know what that kind of behavior is like in a classroom
I know that I have defiance and disrespect talks with my students more than anything else.

I know part of my reaction is
Frustration
I
Don't
Know
What
To
Do
To
Help
Her

I know part of my reaction is 
Exasperation
This young lady
Should be receiving services
Counseling
Support

I know part of my reaction is
Truly
Out of love
I want to help
I want to mold
I want to teach
I want to lead.

Please pray.
Please advise.
Please share your wisdom.
Please.