20 Signs I Am a Foster Mother of Toddlers

1. I say potty a thousand times a day.
2. I smell poop all of the time.
3. I sing the ABCs and count to 10 more times than I can count.
4. I can burp on command to make Littles laugh or smile for a camera.
5. I start to count to five during every dinner in order to remind one Little, or the other, that they will have to go to timeout if they a) throw food, b) whine, c) don't start eating, d)
6. I can reach my arms to the middle row of the van like Inspector Gadget.
7. I can make nearly every animal sound there is and it is recognized by the Littles.
8. I know the difference between real cries and fake cries and all those in between.
9. I know the difference between real laughs and fake laughs and all those in between.
10. I can change a diaper on a rock, a bench, a van floor, and standing up when required.
11. I sort of enjoy watching Peppa Pig and Super Why.
12. I laugh at the most random of times, and also lose my cool.
13. I sit on the floor anywhere, anytime in order to get on a Littles level.
14. I have tiny toe-size bruises all over my thighs and little fingertip bruises all over my upper arms.
15. I understand and respond words and phrases that no one else can.
16. I receive thank yous and high-fives at the most random of times and for the most random of reasons.
17. I enjoy macaroni and cheese and hot dogs nights just as much as they do.
18. I can't wait to get a break away from them but miss them when we are apart.
19. I can carry to 30 lb toddlers on each hip or push them in the double stroller up hill without breaking a sweat.
20. I spend my weekends alternating breaking up fights between them and making visual memories in my head about how much they love each other.