This New Normal is Taking Awhile to Get Used To

This
Type-A
Scheduled
Plan-orientated
Hyper-organized
Ultra-focused
Isn't feeling like herself.

It could have something to do with:

• The first day of teaching 6th grade language arts tomorrow and she has no plans ready for beyond what she is doing with them tomorrow despite going in a week early to set up and then for four hours today.
• The first day of school tomorrow for an 8 year old who just lost her two front teeth today and who has been having some major attitude and talking back issues.
• An almost 3 year old who thinks whining is back and style and she can get away with it and who has learned, somewhere, (see above), to say "NO" and refuse to do what she is told and then who literally screams on the top of her lungs for her entire three minutes of time out and yet turns it off immediately at the sound of the three minutes being up.
• A 15 month old who thinks biting is the answer for everything and who has learned to say "ouch" and now says it about a thousand times when you change his diaper, get him dressed, or wipe his face (body) after eating.
• A never ending cycle of towels in the washer or dryer.
• A never ending pile of dishes in the sink.
• A never ending load in the dishwasher to be loaded or unloaded.
• A never clean kitchen floor that is just begging for more ants to arrive.
• The stress of not receiving a full paycheck for another 17 days...but, hey, who's counting.
• The start of a new daycare for the two Littles on Tuesday at a small home-based program and wondering if it is the right move or not.
• The knowledge that the move means a certain almost three year old isn't in any kind of preschool and needs it and she honestly don't see how to make it work out.
• Her bedroom still having all of the clothes she took and washed in Michigan sitting in a basket for her to take out and hang up but instead that she just keeps pulling from and adding to.
• Suddenly losing the ability to multi-task effectively.  Her brain is going eight thousand directions and doesn't seem to be processing at it's normal speed.
• Failing to keep her inbox clean, read and responded to...or her text messages, too.  Makes her feel out of control and irresponsible.
• Not being able to sleep in.  She loves sleep. She needs sleep.

This
Overtired
Stretched-thin
Impatient
Foster Mama
Isn't feeling like herself
Because
Well,
This is all new.
And it's not a "new normal,"
Yet.
And
As a person who looks at the past to learn how to deal with the present
Has no frame of reference to work from
And it makes her jittery
And she doesn't like jittery.

Yet
This
Frazzled
Scattered
Jumbled
Foster Mama
Is in love
With three amazing kiddos
Who
Melt her heart with their hugs.
Melt her heart with their giggles.
Melt her heart with their antics.

This
Learning-to-give-herself-grace
Learning-to-trust-the-Lord-with-all-of-her-heart
Learning-to-cast-her-cares-on-Him
Foster Mama

And holding her arms around Jesus' neck
As He guides her down this new road
That may,
Or may not,
Become her new normal,
But is what He has called her to
Here and now.